Some say thatr advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In
this
day and age , everywhere is covered with enormous advertisements
in diverse cases. Some people
consider that advertising is completely beneficial to buying products
while
others believe the low of people
's interest in advertising become prevalent in a common way. I believe personally adverts’ success in appealing to consumers .
To commence with, there is an indisputable fact that advertisements
can play a crucial role in encouraging individuals to buy products
. Additionally
, ads can be an opportunity for humankind to save time and money. For example
, I use some apps to advertise necessary products
for households instead
of going to the market and selecting products
by asking one by one. Uzum Market apps can support me to choose the most perfect and cheapest one among other brands by giving full information in their product advertising.
On the other hand
, some people
say that advertising is an irritating and disturbing factor since they appear suddenly and frequently while
they are trying to focus on their studies and work. For example
, when they search for useful and knowledgeable data for their project on the website, some pop-ups for various advertisements
are exposed which are unnecessary and even some are completely inappropriate to moral manners. I sometimes browse on some youtube
channels to gain the resources for my upcoming content, but my attention is disturbed by some disgusting Correct your spelling
YouTube
advertisements
. Sometimes, you have to wait for them to be shown because it is impossible to miss them.
By way of conclusion, in spite of the fact that there are some unnecessities in advertising, ads for selling products
can be a great way to persuade people
to buy true products
without spending extra time and money.Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and avoid slight deviations to keep your argument strong. For example, while discussing the benefits of advertisements, don't mix in points about their drawbacks. Instead, dedicate separate paragraphs to each view.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice. There are minor errors and awkward phrasing in the essay that could be improved, such as 'low of people's interest' which should be 'low level of people's interest.' Also, 'humankind' is a bit too general; 'consumers' might be more appropriate in this context.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization makes it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as the mention of the Uzum Market app. This strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite