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Band 3.5

some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. to what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #smartphones #interaction
Smartphones
 are one of the
most high
Change the adjective
highest
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 technologies that can be revolutionized from
time
 to
time
.
However
 many have believed that
this
 could lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of social interaction. The following statements are my point of view of the advantages and disadvantages of using it
Most
Add an article
The most
A most
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individual
Change to a plural noun
individuals
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 in
this
 generation
tend
Change the verb form
tends
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 to choose
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
smartphones
 rather than having
social
Add an article
a social
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gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
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.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 young people nowadays would rather go online gaming than playing basketball, volleyball, badminton and other contact sports.
This
 is alarming because
this
 would lead to their mental health struggle. The more you spend your
time
 alone, the less you get to interact with the people you love like your family and friends.
However
,
smartphones
 are so indispensable in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent times because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 convenience. If you have internet and can go online you can do
videochat
Correct your spelling
video chat
 with the
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 you love thru social media
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
 like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WeChat and many more. It is
also
 very convenient for gathering information like news, research and current events. It gives you
also
 easy access
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 entertainment like watching
vidoes
Correct your spelling
videos
 online like YouTube and other websites. To conclude,
smartphones
 are one of the most important
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 in
this
fast developing
Add a hyphen
fast-developing
show examples
 generation.
However
, we need to thrive to limit our
time
 using it because it could harm us especially our mental health and social interaction.
Submitted by reyvillaber on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • limit
  • face-to-face communication
  • social media
  • loss of real connections
  • distract
  • engaging
  • empathy
  • personal connection
  • addictive
  • isolation
  • enhance
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