some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. to what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #smartphones #interaction

Smartphones

are one of the

most high

Change the adjective

highest

show examples

technologies that can be revolutionized from

time

However

many have believed that

this

could lead to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of social interaction. The following statements are my point of view of the advantages and disadvantages of using it

Most

Add an article

The most

A most

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individual

Change to a plural noun

individuals

show examples

this

generation

tend

Change the verb form

tends

show examples

to choose

using

Change the verb form

to use

show examples

smartphones

rather than having

social

Add an article

a social

show examples

gathering

Fix the agreement mistake

gatherings

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For

instance

Add a comma

,instance

show examples

young people nowadays would rather go online gaming than playing basketball, volleyball, badminton and other contact sports.

This

is alarming because

this

would lead to their mental health struggle. The more you spend your

time

alone, the less you get to interact with the people you love like your family and friends.

However

smartphones

are so indispensable in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent times because of

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

convenience. If you have internet and can go online you can do

videochat

Correct your spelling

video chat

with the

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

you love thru social media

application

Fix the agreement mistake

applications

show examples

like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WeChat and many more. It is

also

very convenient for gathering information like news, research and current events. It gives you

also

easy access

for

Change preposition

show examples

entertainment like watching

vidoes

Correct your spelling

videos

online like YouTube and other websites. To conclude,

smartphones

are one of the most important

thing

Change to a plural noun

things

show examples

this

fast developing

Add a hyphen

fast-developing

show examples

generation.

However

, we need to thrive to limit our

time

using it because it could harm us especially our mental health and social interaction.

Submitted by reyvillaber on Fri Aug 06 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

225 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

limit
face-to-face communication
social media
loss of real connections
distract
engaging
empathy
personal connection
addictive
isolation
enhance

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some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. to what extent do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think governments should make university education free, but others think students should pay fees by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Large public places such as parks and squares are essential in both citites and towns Do you agree or disagree?