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Band 6.5

Many students have trouble being able to focus on school studies, with their attention span increasingly deteriorating. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#students #trouble #focus #school #studies #attention #span
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It can not be denied that many
students
’ concentration times have lessened. I have the belief that
this
 stems from opportunities coming from the modern era, but it can be eliminated via straightforward measures. One of the crucial reasons why
this
 happens is that technological development. With the proliferation of
devices
such
 as mobile phones or computers,
students
 commence spending most of their time using these,
thus
 their attention sometimes can shift to
apps
 on these
devices
 or browsing on the internet.
This
 led to generally losing their concentration on whatever work they do.
For example
, surfing on the internet to obtain knowledge about his task, an individual making assignment can encounter the pop-up advertisement related to the movie that attracts him. Another reason appears to be social
media
. Nowadays, there is a substantial number of social
media
apps
 and
students
 tend to follow others’ posts and what others do, especially advocacy.
However
,
this
 becomes an addiction granted that stories or posts can be skipped immediately and always refresh themselves at any time,
resulting
Add the preposition
inresulting
show examples
 that
students
 are captured by social
media
 and
thus
 their attention to their lessons or projects might be worse.
For instance
, Tiktok being social
media
apps
 can affect children because of quite ridiculous short videos and they run out of their time on social
media
. In order to tackle
this
 problem, we can take advantage of the following measures. Primarily, adults monitor their children’ unconscious usage of technology.
Therefore
, they can use some
apps
 locking mobile phones or computers so that children are not able to access their
devices
.
Then
 they focus on their task or subjects.
In addition
 to
this
, social
media
 companies should start initiatives related to short videos’ bans. In
this
 way, I think the duration, when
students
 enter these platforms, can be reduced. In conclusion, technological
devices
 and the internet influence children’ concentration on their works as well as social
media
. But it can be taken precautions with parent’s tracking and promote some bans on social
media
.
Submitted by mdorukugur on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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