These days, many people in western countries are obese. What are the causes and solutions of this problem?

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Nowadays, most people in developed countries are fat. So,

obesity

Use synonyms

is the main important problem all over the world. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on the reasons and discuss my opinion on

this

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matter. On the one hand,

firstly

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, individuals tend to eat fast

food

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and processed meals regularly which contain a lot of calories. So, it will increase their weight and blood pressure.

In other words

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, if people eat more than they need, they will be fat.

Secondly

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, it is obvious that our lifestyle is unhealthy, as we do not have enough movement.

Thus

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, it would be harmful in terms of physical fitness.

For example

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, in the USA, most workers face

obesity

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issues, since they tend to eat junk

food

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every day.

On the other hand

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, it would be a great idea if the government scheduled a hygienic plan regarding general health.

Also

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, it is crucial to decrease high-calorie foods.

Therefore

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, it is advisable to use fresh fruits and vegetables.

Additionally

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, it is essential to pay attention to how we will be able to control our diet. So, it is vital to consider self-control actions

due to

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well-being.

For instance

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, in India, scientists argue that if we increased vitamins in our daily usage, we would be able to manage

obesity

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properly. In conclusion, fast

food

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and processed

food

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are the main causes of

obesity

Use synonyms

Also

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, less movement has increased fattening globally. It is necessary to consider revisional actions that can provide enough reasons for general hygiene.

ali.pazoki72Fri Sep 06 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all main ideas are supported with specific and relevant examples. For instance, add more varied examples from multiple countries or contexts.

coherence cohesion

Work on a more varied sentence structure to enhance the flow of the essay. This will help maintain the reader's interest and improve overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, aiding the reader in understanding the main points discussed.

task achievement

Main causes and solutions of obesity are clearly identified and discussed, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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These days, many people in western countries are obese. What are the causes and solutions of this problem?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty.

Most schools in Vietnam, nowadays, put more weight on ”teach to the test” lessons rather than experiential lessons so that students can easily enter their dreaming universities with flying colors. Do you think it is a good trend