IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. (opinion) Therefore, working hours should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advances #technology #automation #labour #hours
Manual labour has been decreased by the advances in technology and
automation
. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there are a lot more things to do with that
automation
 and artificial intelligence and we can achieve more efficient work and more productive work in a short period of time
hence
 it is not required to reduce the work hours but
instead
 to develop new prowess regarding new technology is should be considered. In
this
 ,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
passage we are going to discuss the benefit of advances in
machinery
 and
automation
 and how it affects human labour and
second
 why our walking should not be reduced and new skills should be developed.
machinery
 like artificial intelligence and robotics have made their mark in our daily life Anna personal and professional areas so much that we even notice its significance and dependence. Modern technologies like robotics have a prominent and promising future and many tech giants have been working on it for so long.
automation
 since 1957 where is called intelligent machines it made our life so easy that we can gradually increase our artistry.
automation
 have surrounded us from finding other galaxies to use our daily social growth. It gives us a huge amount of promising future through which we can achieve the greatness which it seems impossible right now. With invasions of modern
machinery
 like artificial intelligence and robotics and our daily activity weaver for dependent on
this
machinery
.
machinery
 has improved our lives so much that it can help us to create new habits which can save a time in which can improve or participate in improving our like
further
instead
 of increasing our w h if you can focus on developing new artistry it can hardness our future.
Submitted by bhumisharma780 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!