IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays a lot of
advertisements
 are targeted at
children
. It is believed by some that
this
 has a negative effect on
children
 and should be banned. While I agree that
advertisements
 should be banned, I
also
 believe that some
advertisements
 have a positive effect on
children
. There are many reasons why
advertisements
 should be banned. The
first
reason
 is that
children
 are attracting to those
advertisements
 and purchasing the
products
 without thinking about them. The
second
reason
 is that some
products
 are out of families budget compared to their parents' incomes despite purchase those
products
. To quote an example, in India, the advertisement of Maggie has been banned because
children
 are attracted to it and purchased it on regular basis.
Furthermore
, if parents do not buy
products
,
children
 feel depressed or stress. Another
reason
 is that
children
 watch their favourite celebrities
advertisements
 than they copy them like smoking or drinking, clothing sense.
However
, I
also
 believe that some
advertisements
 have a positive effect on
children
. The main
reason
 is that
children
 know about the new
products
, the price of the
products
, the company of the
products
. The
second
reason
 is that some
advertisements
 can motivate
children
 by giving good content. They focus on their study and complete their goals after watching those
advertisements
. In conclusion,
although
advertisements
 should be banned, some
advertisements
 give positive content and it is helpful for
children
.
Submitted by tithipatel1731 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: