Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development.

#children #time #computer #games #sports #development

In recent years, the phenomenon of teenagers get addicted to

computer

games

has aroused wide concern among various circles. Many

children

nowadays tend to trade off their time on doing exercise for playing online

games

and the situation would probably be aggravated in the future. The reasons behind

such

behaviour could be attributed not only to personal

aspect

Fix the agreement mistake

aspects

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

social aspect.

Furthermore

, it is undoubtedly

such

phenomenon brings about negative development to the teenagers themselves and the society as well. Of the reasons why kids and adolescents are being attracted by online

computer

games

, probably the most significant one is that they can enjoy

excitement

Add an article

the excitement

show examples

while indulging in the virtual world. It is evident that

children

are allowed to get their

pulse raising

Add a hyphen

pulse-raising

show examples

and adrenaline pumping even when they are sitting in front of the

computer

For example

, players are required to complete some tasks within a certain time limit, the excitement level

Add the comma(s)

, in this case,

show examples

this

case could be amplified by

sense

Add an article

a sense

show examples

of urgency.

Also

, users are constantly given scores, new targets and frequent rewards which keep them playing continuously. It should

also

be noticed that

unlike

Add the comma(s)

,unlike

show examples

adults, teenagers generally have weaker self-control and mindset, which means they are easier to get distracted by those online

games

with fancy storytelling and content.

Although

some people may argue playing

computer

games

in some way may help

children

to relax under great academic pressure, I would say that

such

phenomenon without a doubt is a negative development.

Children

rather glue their

eye

Fix the agreement mistake

eyes

show examples

to the

computer

screen than

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

get involved in other social activities and participate in outdoor sports

Submitted by travisfch on Fri Aug 06 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

allure
captivate
supervise
accessible
scarcity
safer alternative
peer pressure
educational tools
cognitive skills
implications
obesity
poor posture
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving abilities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? what could be done to encourage people to buy local food.
It is in a plethora of nations that an increasingly high number of civilians tend to purchase food outside their country. This author believes that the key of this major problem stems from consumers' ego, yet it can be solved by enhancing the provincial food's quality.
5
band
ore and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Wild life extinction is becoming a major concern all over the wolrd because it can damage the biodiversity which in tern can cause a lot of unchangeable problems. Some of the animals are already extinct while some on the verge of being extinct. This essay will discuss about the reasons behind the extinction as well as possible solutions to it.
4.5
band
Some believe that more young people hold the important positions in government, while others believe that the young people should not. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.
In this essay, I am going to discuss the idea that: Some believe that more young people hold the important position in government, while others believe that the young people should not. In the beginning, that is the fact that more youth people hold the important positions in the government, and in my opinion, it has necessity. However, both views are remarkable. Positions should be filled with youths however, on the other hand, workers who have an experiences are priceless for the states or other labours. Young people can adapt the new circumstances easily. Further, their brains are fresh and they have tendency to create new ideas. However, experienced workers are more eligible for some qualified positions. Furthermore, They must keep working and their position be preserved so, less experienced workers could learn something from their experiences.
4
band
The most effective way to solve the current traffic and pollution problem in cities is to encourage people to move from suburbs and countryside into the city centre. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Urbanization is the best variant to solving live traffic updates and environmental contamination troubles. But based on my personal knowledge, I strongly disagree. Moreover, I believe that urbanization will worsen these issues. In this essay, I'll first discuss why urbanization is not a solution and when, and then I recommend alternative solutions that do not involve moving rural people to the city centers.
4.5
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outwigh the disadvantages?
Thanks to recently developments in information and technonolgy in this day that in the future the vehicle will decrease for the driver and only people of traveller could be a passenger. Is this developments can make changer for many people will be better or make the environmental more difficult to stay hold out of their life? For the following reasons.

Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? what could be done to encourage people to buy local food.

ore and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some believe that more young people hold the important positions in government, while others believe that the young people should not. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.

The most effective way to solve the current traffic and pollution problem in cities is to encourage people to move from suburbs and countryside into the city centre. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outwigh the disadvantages?