IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime and the motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #punishment #type #crime #motivation #account
A certain number of individuals think that a fixed punishment should be given to criminals for each violence and thinking of doing it.It should be in the mind while taking decisions regarding punishing a criminal.In my following,paragraphs
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will describe these statements along with relevant examples. On the one hand,every crime has fixed punishments guaranteed by governments so offenders are aware of these.With these kinds of new ,rules people will have ideas about the consequences of assault and they will think about their family and the person they might hurt.These punishments can stop them from entering the world of crimes.For illustration,a robber would not want to go to prison for ten years just for smashing an empty bag in public because he knows he will be charged just like a bank robber.
Moreover
,with strict rules of ,society there will be a lower number of crimes in cities and people will think about a better future.
On the other hand
,the government has decided some sanctions for every violence which is not fair at all.
For example
, a thief was thinking of putting things back when he realized that it is wrong but suddenly someone called the police and he was charged for robbery.
In addition
,offenders will commit bigger violence because they know that even for smaller robberies, the punishment will be the same.Cities will be full of crimes and the government will need more prisons and security protection for society. To conclude,it is hard for a judge to give
this
 type of decision of having the same torture and prison time.Government should not apply these rules in the law book.
Submitted by manpkaur2019 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: