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Band 7.5

Nowadays, many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries, while studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

#students #opportunity #study #part #courses #countries
A school of thought believes that a plethora of pupils have chances to access foreign courses in many fields and even all courses. It is undeniable that studying in other countries brings about a ton of advantages,
however
, many others have a diverse opinion.
This
 writer agrees with the former
while
 many drawbacks that it causes are irrefutable. On the one hand, it is evident that studying abroad leads to many troubles for not only
students
 but
also
 their families. First and foremost, studying in another nation could cause people a cultural shock which might put enormous stress on them. To explain, the difference in thinking and appearance is a compelling reason as to why there are always barriers and gaps between every ethnicity.
As a result
, they easily get many mental problems
such
 as being isolated, and being bullied which directly affects their academic performance and
also
 their ambition in studying and working.
Furthermore
, the financial problem is one of the challenges that their parents might face. Generally, the tuition in European countries is always double or even triple that in our country which means those who want to give their offspring a chance to study abroad need to pay for not only a huge school fee but
also
 for the accommodation and living cost.
On the other hand
, the upper hand of
this
 phenomenon are more significant and justified owing to the opportunity to enhance self-skills and
also
 the high likelihood of having a decent job in the future.
Firstly
, living far from family is one of the challenges that overseas
students
 face. By
this
 chance, they might learn many key skills to exist and live on their own which could make them become another version of themselves.
In addition
, studying overseas gives
students
 a better educational facility and a bachelor's degree.
Consequently
, they would find it easier to have a nice job with a handsome salary and social welfare than others.
To sum up
,
while
 it is irrefutable that overseas
students
 might face many problems, the writer of
this
 essay strongly argues that the benefits which are brought by
this
 trend of studying dominated to some extent.
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This can help in making your essay more compelling and credible.
coherence cohesion
Aim to clarify some complex sentences to avoid any ambiguity. This will help in making your ideas more comprehensible.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the essay's position and sets the stage for the discussion.
logical structure
The essay is generally well-structured and logically organized, with clear paragraphs for opposing views.
clear comprehensive ideas
The use of complex sentences and a range of vocabulary enhances the overall quality of the writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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