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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
Nowadays, while some countries reveal the increasing ageing
population
, several nations show the opposite trend when young
people
 make up a higher proportion in the
population
 pyramid in comparison with the elderly.
This
 status brings about several undeniable benefits, but it is quite obvious that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
population
 triggers more drawbacks. There are certainly some positives coming together with the accelerating growth of the young in demographic status.
Firstly
, well-nourished and well-educated young women and men can bring unprecedented levels of growth and social progress to the region. They are physically healthy and willing to work under
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high pressure, which
recently
Add a missing verb
has recently
show examples
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 the prerequisites for outstanding productivity at work.
Secondly
, the young are born with
willingness
Add an article
a willingness
the willingness
show examples
 to learn new things, encouraging them to adapt to non-stop changes in the world. For that reason, the nation with a high number of youngsters will never lag behind technological revolutions.
However
, I believe there are more potential repercussions when the young occupy a too high proportion. If we do not invest enough in education for children and young
people
, criminal activities will prevail.
For instance
, the
adolescents
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescent
show examples
 and youth
population
 in African countries are increasing, but most of them are not offered enough education, explaining the booming of drug smuggling or violence recorded there.
Furthermore
, young
people
 are either financially dependent on
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 or at working age.
This
 transition in demography puts more pressure on the economy because governments have to give financial support for children under 18 years old or create enough employment opportunities for
people
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 working age. In conclusion, the domination of young
people
 in
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 comes with several benefits, my opinion is
this
 demographic transition leads to more drawbacks.
Submitted by Minh Châu Nguyễn Thị on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: