Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's era, public parks,

sports

Use synonyms

grounds, gyms, malls are equally important in order to demonstrate the quality standard of living. As far as I believe, entertainment or you call it leisure is as significant as outdoor activities/ fitness. In accordance with that I partially disagree with the statement that in the new towns, we should have more parks and playing

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

grounds provision compare to the shopping

facilities

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. Would like to elaborate my argument in the following passages.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

firstly

Linking Words

let's have an advantage of the parks and

sports

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facilities

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irrespective of generation. These are basic necessities that everyone needs in their surrounding.

In addition

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, no matter young children or adults, it is equally useful as if we talk about morning/ afternoon/ evening walks,

furthermore

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, exercise , gossip

time

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, relaxation

time

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, playtime, with respect to all these aspects park is always in demand and we can not neglect it as spending a

time

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in the park always gives pleasure. Apart from that

secondly

Linking Words

, if we look at the

sports

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facilities

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that

Linking Words

Change the verb form

are

show examples

a vital element as

Remove the article

apply

show examples

outdoor gaming. In youth

sports

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are in high demand as some consider it as a hobby, or a passion,

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

some

people

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want to pursue

sports

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and make it their career. For

such

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instances, there should be

sports

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provision where

people

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can go and fulfil their needs.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

fast-paced life, entertainment has an equal space.

Moreover

Linking Words

, out of your busy schedules, at end of the

day

Add a comma

,day

show examples

people

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only look for entertainment, some sort of relaxation and it can be in any form. For an instance, shopping or hanging out with your dearest nearest one or watching a movie on

big

Add an article

the big

a big

show examples

screen or having

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nice food in a

resturant

Correct your spelling

restaurant

etc.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, shopping malls

also

Linking Words

have positive sides that should not be overlooked. Along with

Remove the article

apply

show examples

shopping, you can meet your friends, chill out, spend

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quality

time

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, share more ideas with each other. By that means rather than just be online, you can meet

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

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face to face.

Additionally

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, nowadays, shopping malls contain many activities other than shopping.

Last

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but not least,

people

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can find out much essential stuff under one shelter,

that is

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what

people

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always look for in

this

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busy lifestyle. To sum

Add a comma

,up

show examples

with, would like to highlight that for a healthy lifestyle, many aspects are important and we can not side-line that by comparing.

For example

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, air, water and food are equally required substances,

likewise

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, would

lke

Correct your spelling

to conclude by notifying that mentioned all the

facilities

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are much needed equally.

DakanSun Aug 08 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

428 words

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Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money. What do you think are the reasons? What are the solutions to this problem?

Some people think that Government should take measures to improve the health of its citizens. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job.On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Disscuss both sides and give your opinion.