Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and your opinion.

#people #country #host #event #events

it is undeniable, that sports performs an important role in our everyday life. A number of people expect to organise various global activities in their own nation. Others argue that it accrues many issues in comparison to benefits. I will discuss both views and give my opinion before reaching conclusion. there are many benefits of organising international gaming

events

Firstly

, A majority of citizens would take part and have a chance to win a big amount when they win. they should encourage other people

also

Secondly

, Audiences are coming from overseas and stay in hotels and guesthouses that boost tourism industries so the government can build a better future for the nation.

For instance

, the Olympic games collected a huge amount in 1893 so authorities build many roads and started huge public transport in various cities. There are a few proven drawbacks that are as follows.

To begin

with, many members claim that these sports event

events

are waste of time and money.

Moreover

, in

this

modern ,era various sportsmen are taking harmful medicines to enhance their ability. Todays's young youth following celebrities and sportsmen blindly so they learn many negative things.

Furthermore

, if the participator does not have enough amount of money so they can go on a crime road. In my opinion, the government have to organise international sports

events

but they have to take proper precautions. To conclude, it has been absorbed that

this

event

events

have both positive and negative effects

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if excellent planning and under proper security it has been done that can deliver many benefits.

Submitted by Aditya Patel on Sun Aug 08 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

261 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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