IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at school.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #television #home #school
According to some, television is an effective medium for teaching
children
 and
as a result
, regular watching should be encouraged at home and in the classroom.
However
, in my opinion, television is not only bad for
children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 harmful to their development in the long term.
To begin
 with,
children
 will watch anything once unsupervised. While it may be possible to give some supervision to students in the classroom, at home students are often left to themselves and there is no guarantee they will watch educational programs. Most young
children
 have poor attention spans and would quickly change channels given the chance. What’s more, with the proliferation of entertainment programs like cartoons available nowadays, the temptation to watch other
TV
 shows may prove too great.
For example
, in a 2010 study in the Netherlands,
children
 under three years old were found to watch eight hours
TV
Change preposition
of TV
show examples
 per day on average. Increasing time spent watching television at home and school deprives
children
 of valuable playtime. Active playtime away from adults is vital to allow
children
 to explore their world, grow as individuals and most importantly let their imaginations run free.
On the other hand
, watching
TV
 is an extremely passive, structured activity more suited to switching off the brain than using it. Encouraging
children
 to do more of
this
 may not only stunt their emotional, mental and physical development
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but create less creative individuals, less in tune with their sense of self. To conclude,
TV
 is more distracting than educational, and may even do more harm than good to a child’s development. Limiting
children
’s exposure to constructive educational
TV
 shows is the only way to gain any benefit through
this
 medium.
Submitted by md.aamirkhan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • passive
  • sedentary
  • limit
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • educational content
  • expose
  • different cultures
  • perspectives
  • negative effects
  • behavior
What to do next:
Look at other essays: