IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

governments spends much more money for education. More money should be spent on free time activities. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#governments #money #education #time #activities
In any ,
national
Add an article
the national
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 government has the authority to allocate
money
 for various sectors. It is argued, that authorities grant a huge portion of
money
on
Change preposition
to
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 education, rather than
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 recreational
activities
.I totally disagree with
this
 statement, because investing
money
 in extracurricular
activities
 is pivotal in many ways.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons behind my argument.
To begin
 with,
although
 there are a plethora of educational resources, children rarely engage in leisure
activities
.
However
, participation in sports and games
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 vital these days,
due to
 the numerous advantages which can be gained by adolescents. To
further
 illustrate, youngsters can improve a variety of skills by participating in extra
activities
. They can enhance physical fitness, especially endurance,mental and physical fitness,stamina and flexibility. Simultaneously, creativity, analytical skills and critical thinking can be improved by attending games like chess and
scrabble
Capitalize word
Scrabble
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.
For instance
, in any ,society all-rounders with these qualities can be easily identified. At the same time, they are far more precious to any nation in various ways.
Moreover
, if the government can allocate more
money
 for extra
activities
, schools can enhance the infrastructure facilities, which will give countless opportunities for students to reach the international arena. Brilliant performers can represent their own nation in
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
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 and in
world cup
Correct your spelling
World Cup
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 tournaments
,
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apply
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 so that they can bring recognition to their nation at large.
Sri
Correct article usage
The Sri
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 Lankan cricket team had been the champions of the 1996 cricket
world cup
Correct your spelling
World Cup
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,
for instance
, brought fame to Sri Lanka. In conclusion, spending more
money
 on education will curb the opportunities for the reputation
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 by sports. In the long run,
this
 will
impact enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance
show examples
 the country's image globally.
Therefore
, sufficient allocations and methodologies should be implemented by authorities to improve the sports facilities in schools.
Submitted by rushi6059 on

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