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Band 4

The number of endangered species has increased significantly in this century and we find more mass extinctions in this period than in any other period of time. State some reasons for this and provide possible solutions.

#species #century #mass #extinctions #period #time
In
this
 century, many animal species are at risk of extinction. The reason for
this
 is that
people
 destroy the habitat of
animals
 and build new
buildings
. To solve
this
,
people
 should stop destroying
animal’s
 habitats. The essay discusses why many
animals
 are being endangered and how we can improve
this
 situation.
First
 of all, the main reason for
this
 is that
people
 cut
trees
 which is
animal’s
 habitats. Humans
also
 have to build
buildings
 to live, to build something we need
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space. Due to
this
,
people
 cut
trees
. Most of the
animals
 live on the
trees
, under
trees
 or in the
trees
,
also
 some species eat
trees
. For these reasons
animals
 lose their house and food and die. To solve
this
 problem,
people
 have to stop cutting
trees
, but how can we have space to build
buildings
 while the number of
people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
increasing.
Then
people
 can break old
buildings
 and build new
buildings
, or they can reform
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Now in the world, there are lots of old
buildings
 and they keep them. If the building was historical, it should be kept, but for old
buildings
 and no one lives there or uses it , it should not be there.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
people
 can destroy the old
buildings
 and build new
buildings
 rather than cutting
animal’s
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
. In conclusion,
people
 are disturbing
animal’s
 habitats by taking them away.
For example
, cutting
trees
 and build
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new building
new buildings
show examples
buildings
.
However
, it is possible to get space by not cutting
trees
. Just use old
buildings
 and reform
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 or rebuild
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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