IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The number of endangered species has increased significantly in this century and we find more mass extinctions in this period than in any other period of time. State some reasons for this and provide possible solutions.

#species #century #mass #extinctions #period #time
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In
this
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 century, many animal species are at risk of extinction. The reason for
this
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 is that
people
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 destroy the habitat of
animals
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 and build new
buildings
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. To solve
this
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,
people
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 should stop destroying
animal’s
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 habitats. The essay discusses why many
animals
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 are being endangered and how we can improve
this
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 situation.
First
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 of all, the main reason for
this
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 is that
people
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 cut
trees
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 which is
animal’s
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 habitats. Humans
also
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 have to build
buildings
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 to live, to build something we need
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space. Due to
this
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,
people
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 cut
trees
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. Most of the
animals
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 live on the
trees
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, under
trees
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 or in the
trees
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,
also
Linking Words
 some species eat
trees
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. For these reasons
animals
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 lose their house and food and die. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem,
people
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 have to stop cutting
trees
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, but how can we have space to build
buildings
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 while the number of
people
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
increasing.
Then
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people
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 can break old
buildings
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 and build new
buildings
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, or they can reform
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Now in the world, there are lots of old
buildings
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 and they keep them. If the building was historical, it should be kept, but for old
buildings
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 and no one lives there or uses it , it should not be there.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
people
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 can destroy the old
buildings
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 and build new
buildings
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 rather than cutting
animal’s
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habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
. In conclusion,
people
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 are disturbing
animal’s
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 habitats by taking them away.
For example
Linking Words
, cutting
trees
Use synonyms
 and build
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new building
new buildings
show examples
buildings
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is possible to get space by not cutting
trees
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. Just use old
buildings
Use synonyms
 and reform
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 or rebuild
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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