In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

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Urbanization is evident globally where residents from the countryside are relocating to urban areas, resulting in a decline in the rural population. In my view, I am convinced that

this

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phenomenon has a positive impact on society. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will elucidate the reasoning supporting my perspective. One of the key reasons to push for urban relocation is job opportunities. Notably, the employment rate of cities is considerably higher compared to that of rural locales.

For example

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according to

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a U.S. government survey conducted in 2023, the employment rate in rural areas is only 20% as compared to 70% in urban areas.

Due to

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the dense population, there is a need for a significantly larger workforce.

Besides

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, the variety of jobs available in rural parts of the country is usually relatively limited.

Conversely

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, metropolitans provide an array of job positions that allow individuals to choose jobs that match their strengths and talents. Apart from job security, healthcare is another apparent reason for migrants to move out of the rural. City hubs are usually equipped with comprehensive medical infrastructures.

This

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encompasses not only the

quantity

Change the quantifier

number

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of hospitals and clinics available but

also

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the quality of service provided. Because of

economy

Add an article

the economy

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of scale, healthcare institutions in cities are usually granted a noticeably higher budget.

This

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allows them to procure state-of-the-art medical equipment which provides cures to

otherwise

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untreatable diseases.

To conclude

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, it is apparent that urbanization brings remarkable improvements to migrants' quality of life and I assert that

this

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phenomenon brings a positive influence on society as a whole.

Submitted by josefacheang on Fri Jan 17 2025

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task achievement

Include additional counterarguments or perspectives to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, adequately presenting the main argument.

task achievement

Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, particularly with the employment rate statistics.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some feel governments should invest in preserving minority languages, while others feel this is not a good use of resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

For some people learning in a group is the most effective way, while others prefer one-on-one instructions. Discuss both views. What is your opinion?

Some think increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the disappearance of national identity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.