In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Urbanization is evident globally where residents from the countryside are relocating to urban areas, resulting in a decline in the rural population. In my view, I am convinced that
this
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phenomenon has a positive impact on society. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will elucidate the reasoning supporting my perspective. One of the key reasons to push for urban relocation is job opportunities. Notably, the employment rate of cities is considerably higher compared to that of rural locales.
For example
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,
according to
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a U.S. government survey conducted in 2023, the employment rate in rural areas is only 20% as compared to 70% in urban areas.
Due to
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the dense population, there is a need for a significantly larger workforce.
Besides
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, the variety of jobs available in rural parts of the country is usually relatively limited.
Conversely
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, metropolitans provide an array of job positions that allow individuals to choose jobs that match their strengths and talents. Apart from job security, healthcare is another apparent reason for migrants to move out of the rural. City hubs are usually equipped with comprehensive medical infrastructures.
This
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encompasses not only the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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of hospitals and clinics available but
also
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the quality of service provided. Because of
economy
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the economy
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of scale, healthcare institutions in cities are usually granted a noticeably higher budget.
This
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allows them to procure state-of-the-art medical equipment which provides cures to
otherwise
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untreatable diseases.
To conclude
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, it is apparent that urbanization brings remarkable improvements to migrants' quality of life and I assert that
this
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phenomenon brings a positive influence on society as a whole.
Submitted by josefacheang on

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task achievement
Include additional counterarguments or perspectives to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, adequately presenting the main argument.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, particularly with the employment rate statistics.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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