IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsorypart of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improvingthe neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent doyou agree or disagree?

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Some people think that free social
activities
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 should be a mandatory part of high
school
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 programs. While
students
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 who take part in these
activities
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 may face some unexpected issues, I agree that educators should design required
community
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services
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 for their high
school
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students
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 without any payments. On the one hand, the most considerable trouble that affects
students
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 when participating in public
activities
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 is the shortage of time. Particularly, they may be less focused on their core lessons in class, even lack leisure time because of spending too much time on
community
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services
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.
Besides
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, there are obligatory
services
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 which do not suit everyone.
For example
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, working for a charity in mountainous places suburban areas requires
students
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 to have to go far away or teaching sports to younger children at an outdoor stadium demands good health. All of these types of work do not fit the weak girls or unhealthy
students
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.
On the other hand
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, attending unpaid public
services
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 will bring great benefits to high
school
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students
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.
Firstly
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, these programs create a positive environment for
students
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 to be raised in a holistic way, not only improving their social knowledge but
also
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 motivate their perception about outdoor life.
This
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 is really an appropriate method to train them on how to work for the interest of the
community
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instead
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 of living only for themselves.
Secondly
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, taking part in public
activities
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such
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 as volunteer campaigns and charity organizations is a highlighted point that makes their resume brilliant. If an applicant who has the same qualification, as well as experiences with other candidates, would like to apply for a scholarship or a competitive job, his past
activities
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 for the interest of the
community
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 may make an outstanding contribution in helping him defeat the others. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some disadvantages, it seems to me that we should design more unpaid obligatory
community
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 programs for high
school
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students
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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