Some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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EDUCATION IS A CRUCIAL PART OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL.SOME
INDIVIDUAL
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INDIVIDUALS

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BELIEVS
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BELIEVES

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THAT YOUNG BLOOD SHOULD CONTINUE THEIR
FULL TIME
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FULL-TIME

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STUDY
UNTILE
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UNTIL

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THEY TURN MAJOR.I
COMPLETLY
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COMPLETELY

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ADVOCATE
THIS
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NOTION AND MY SUPPORTING REASONS WILL BE DISCUSSED IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS. TO COMMENCE WITH, EDUCATION IS A BASIC PILLAR OF ANYONE'S FOUNDATION.IF SOMEONE IS DOING
PART TIME
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PART-TIME

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JOB WITH
STUDIES
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THEY ARE COMPRISING THEIR FUTURE WITH IT AS THEY CAN NOT
FOCOUS
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FOCUS
FOCUSES

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ON ONE THING PROPERLY.BY DOING BOTH THINGS
TOGATHER
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TOGETHER

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THEY MIGHT GET SICK AND FEEL STRESSED
ON
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AT

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THE SAME TIME.
FOR INSTANCE
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,IF ONE MINOR BOY IS DOING JOB AND
STUDIES
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TOGATHER
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TOGETHER
TO GATHER

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HIS
STUDIES
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WILL SUFFER AND HIS RESULT WILL BE AFFECTED.
ALTHOUGH
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THEY CAN MANAGE TO WORK AND STUDY,PARENTS SHOULD NOT ALLOW THEM TO DO
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A JOB

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JOB
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JOBS

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.IN
THIS
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COMPETITIVE ERA, IT IS VITAL TO HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF EVERYTHING. IT IS CERTAINLY TRUE TO SAY THAT IN SOME COUNTRIES PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT MAJOR ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WORK AS IT IS
ILLEGALE
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ILLEGAL

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AND CONSIDERED AS A CRIME.I BELIEVE IN THE TENDER AGE THEY ARE NOT CAPABLE ENOUGH TO MAKE FRIM DECISION AND ONE WRONG DECISION CAN RUIN THEIR FUTURE.
THIS
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IS THE AGE WHERE THEY CAN GET EASILY
MISGUIDE
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BE MISGUIDE

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BECAUSE THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO LUXURIOUS
THING
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THINGS

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.BY
FOCOUSING
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FOCUSING
FOCUSSING

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ON
STUDIES
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THEY CAN HAVE BETTER VISION ABOUT FUTURE AND IT CAN HELP THEM TO
ACHIVE
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ACHIEVE

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DESIRED GOALS.NOWADAYS
GOVERNMENT
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THE GOVERNMENT

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IS
ALSO
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ENCOURAGING
STUDIES
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TO
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IN

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EVERY
CITIES
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CITY

The singular quantifier EVERY is followed by the plural noun CITIES. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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AS WELL AS COUNTRYSIDE AREAS.
THIS
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ACTIVITY SHOWS THE IMPORTANCE OF STUDY IN EVERY
ONES
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ONE'S

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LIFE. BY CONCLUDING THE SAME, FULL-TIME EDUCATION IS REQUIRED
TO
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FOR

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EVERY YOUNG GENERATION AS IT IS BASIC
NEEDS
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NEED

It seems that NEEDS may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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TO HAVE IN
THIS
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ERA.IT CAN HELP THEM TO
ACHIVE
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ACHIEVE

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GOALS.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
What to do next:
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