IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Due to so many young people dropping out from schools, the rate of unemployment is increasing and it affects our society in different ways. In your opinion, how can this situation be improved?

#people #schools #rate #unemployment #society #situation
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Education
 is an important factor for success in life.
However
, Because of dropping out
from
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of
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 the
schools
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school
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, many juveniles are remaining unemployed. It is the cause of societal degradation.
Moreover
, society will be fallen
in
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into
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unstable
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an unstable
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condition
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conditions
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. In the body paragraph, I will provide the related causes and solutions for that.
First
 of all, I believe the predominant cause for
unemployed
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the unemployed
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 problem is
education
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the education
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 system. The
education
 system needs to have a polished vision.
For instance
,
In
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In-country
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country
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a country
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 like Bangladesh focus on
theoritical
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theoretical
 knowledge rather
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than
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that
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than
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 pragmatic knowledge. On the
hand
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other hand
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,
education
 cost creates a major drawback for
for
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apply
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dropping out. Many parents can not bear the
education
 cost for their children. So, It could not be possible for them to move forward. So,
this things
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this thing
these things
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 are needed to be considered to eradicate the dropout. In spite of
those problem
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that problem
those problems
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, we can modify the system and it will help to diminish the issue. For that, we have to reduce
education
cost
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costs
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 so that young people can build the structure for their future
career
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careers
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.
For example
, we can collect money from angel
investor
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investors
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 and utilize
those money
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that money
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 to help indigent people to carry out their
education
.
Furthermore
, We can add labs and other facilities to support the student in practical knowledge. To conclude, Without solving the issue we may not be able to diminish the dropout of
young
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a young
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student
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students
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 and to remove unemployment. So essential steps are required to make a
producative
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productive
 and educated society.
Submitted by aaf5623 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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