Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Many think that today organisations
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to give more job opportunities for
youth
because of the generations once they reach old they have less efficiency of
work
to reach
company
's goals .
However
, I disagree with
this
statement because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe senior
people
have more experience in decision making which is the most important factor in every
firm
.In
this
essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss the benefits and positive outcomes of hiring higher officials in today's companies.
Firstly
, presently senior
people
are working for a
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
position, in
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
company
for many years as they have knowledge in a particular project of the organisation because they can make
decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
regarding the
work
and
this
can be beneficial for younger officials who hired newly in a
firm
.
For example
,
Add a hyphen
senior-level
show examples
senior
Add an article
the senior
show examples
level officer always knows the inputs and gives advice regarding the assignment of
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
.
Secondly
,most of the training and workshops are given by experienced
staff
who are 55 years and up.
However
, juniors can learn different concepts from senior
staff
and implement them in the project output.
For example
, to overcome situations of
deadline
Add an article
the deadline
a deadline
show examples
of project works newly hired
staff
can get
piece
Add an article
a piece
show examples
of advice from older
staff
.
Finally
, today some companies are hiring older
people
because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they are well known and familiar
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
work
.
Furthermore
,
this
can be benefited to the organisation and
staff
who are newly hired as they know better in understanding and implementation of
work
in meeting
company
requirements.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
,some others opine that higher
officals
Correct your spelling
officials
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to retire after the retirement age to enjoy the
company
benefits and encourage younger ones because they help to meet organisational goals.
However
,many colleges are offering courses for the
youth
to build their resume and building skills to
work
in the
firm
.
Moreover
,
youth
believe that senior
staff
are meant for decision making as
youth
are more efficient in
work
management skills because most of the departments in the
firm
are sales, human resource and marketing
staff
in which companies are hiring new graduates to make more profits. In conclusion,
people
believe that
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
generation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
less capacity in
work
efficiency
comparatively
Replace the word
compared
show examples
with
youth
. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that senior
people
are well knowledgable,valuable and inspirational persons in taking key roles and responsibilities of a
company
.
Submitted by ar050682 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: