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Band 4.5

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #jobs
It is often arguing that celebrities earn huge
money
 against their performance. No doubt, successful artists, earn hefty
money
. I agree they have the right to earn the
money
 against their performance. To become a
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 artist, it is very hard
work
 to practise to gain the artistry. I trust that some having
skill
 for singing, painting or acting, it is not only interest of respective
work
,
it is
Add the word(s)
but it is also
show examples
 hard
work
 to reach that confidence to gain the talent, where they can perform their
skill
 in
from
Correct your spelling
form
show examples
 of audiences.
Some times
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
, they spend most of
years
Add an article
the years
show examples
 of
life
Correct pronoun usage
their life
show examples
 span in practice and to get
skill
Add an article
the skill
a skill
show examples
. Most of
luck
Add an article
the luck
show examples
also
work
 to take
attention
Correct article usage
the attention
show examples
 of the people. When your
skill
 and
recogination
Correct your spelling
recognition
resignation
accepted
Add a missing verb
are accepted
show examples
 by the public,
then
 they get fame. There is
struggling
Correct article usage
a struggling
show examples
jouney
Correct your spelling
journey
.
Further
 Entertainers always struggle continuously to upgrade their
performace
Correct your spelling
performance
 so that they can win hearts of their followers. If they fail to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 will erase them from the
momeries
Correct your spelling
memories
. Career risk
is always remail
Change the verb form
is always remailed
is always remailing
show examples
 high,
Hence
 I believe that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is no harm if they earn well to save their earning for future life. No doubt
Celebraties
Correct your spelling
Celebrities
 paid
paid
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
tax to
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and tax
money
 utilised for development
work
. I trust that teacher should be
highly
Correct article usage
a highly
show examples
 paid job. Good teachers are
foundation
Add an article
the foundation
show examples
 of
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
scoiety
Correct your spelling
society
. Teachers
buid
Correct your spelling
build
 future of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
. It is
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
dificult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 works to create intectulationation in the person. I believe that it is much harder mental
work
.
For example
,
Many
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 students in the class, every student have different
different
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
capacity to understand and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 but good teacher control and help them to make understand on respective goal. In the conclusion, Where
celebraties
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 earns well and entertain the people. Teachers should be paid
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 since only they have
talent
Change the article
the talent
show examples
 to find the forbidden
skill
 of
Add an article
the child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
, encourage them and lead to perfection.
Submitted by Gurmit on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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