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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outwiegh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development #outwiegh
Nowadays the public
believe
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believes
show examples
, that living in
a
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an
show examples
 m3dical
center
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centre
show examples
 is a true success to stay alive, and getting well treatments from examiners as a chance to feel as safe as much you are at
hospital
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the hospital
show examples
, especially elderly people.
Firstly
, I will explore
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the advantages of
this
 perspective and provide examples, explaining
this
 thought.
Secondly
, I will explain the negative side of
this
 belief, and what to do to be able to avoid
this
 impact, yet to provide a clear opinion of how do I feel about their point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
. I will start with positive thoughts of dealing with medical
care
.
To begin
 with, Medical
care
 is a
second
 place to deal with in life to get a recovery from any kind of injuries, but it is hard to create it as a living place, like a
second
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household
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house hold
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household
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 to
elderly
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the elderly
show examples
 community. But on some points, if they were in
a serious situations
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a serious situation
serious situations
show examples
,
then
 they should understand, that it is essential to be there as an example; when an elder
peron
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person
dealth
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death
 through high blood pressure
then
 he should get into a
healtht
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health
healthy
procees
Correct your spelling
process
 to keep his wellness stable.
Moreover
, if one of the oldest
group
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groups
show examples
 dealt with
partial
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the partial
show examples
 change of cancer,
then
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they
show examples
 should not hesitate about it because with his
care
 provide great results to remain mentally and physically well being.
In addition
, it could help them in
a
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apply
show examples
beneficially
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beneficial
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 ways by
obtain
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obtaining
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 by obtaining medicines and multiple arrangements to
check-up
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a check-up
the check-up
show examples
 health
condition
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conditions
show examples
.
However
, through living difficulties and unstable regulations and economy,
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this
show examples
thus
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this
show examples
 kind of impacts made the Authority's to apply via taxation regulations like what happened in The United States of America, Canada etc... Went
though
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through
show examples
 increasing in taxes and
invlove
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involve
 society into craziness, duo to bad income via civilians
throughly
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thoroughly
 speaking with
abov
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above
ementioned
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mentioned
 point
tge
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the
 public applied for Health insurance as a plan B solution for them, yet not
every thing
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everything
show examples
 under insurance, so should preprepare for
self pay
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self-pay
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 way to proceed
for instance
; when patients stay at
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
 for a long time around 5 to 7 years,
then
 though will directly interrupt his
relatves
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relatives
 for multiple visits and duo to
tak
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taka
show examples
a
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apply
show examples
good
care
 of his conditions despite he can avoid while eating healthy, doing exercises and saving
good
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a good
show examples
 amount of money to complete what he
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
 achieve when he was younger especially he reach
sixties
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the sixties
show examples
 why? Because without saving and staying in a flexible manner
then
 he will
loss
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lose
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a great opportunities
Correct the article-noun agreement
great opportunities
a great opportunity
show examples
 to achieve what he is capable of. To sum up, medical treat advanced
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 and increasing through taxation process will
proceed
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toproceed
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 tell peak point when society realise something wrong and need to minimize it. In my opinion, I recommend
to stay
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staying
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 healthy,
avoide
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avoid
 negativity, and proceed with exercises
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a daily basis to live longer stay stable in life, yet close to your family and peers.
Submitted by iissa1991 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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