IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in Zoos. Others, believe that there are good reasons of having Zoos. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Zoos
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 are common around the world. Some people are of the view that wild
species
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 should not be kept in
captivity
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, whereas others believe that these wild
animals
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 should be kept in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Zoos
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 as there are some advantages to that.
This
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 essay discusses both views and
give
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gives
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 an opinion. Keeping wild
species
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 in
Zoos
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 may cause stress to the
animals
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. Big cats
such
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 as elephants, lions or leopards are used to their natural habitat, which is the wilderness, and keeping these wild
animals
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
captivity
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 restrict their movement
thus
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 causing stress. Conditions in
the
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apply
show examples
captivity
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 may
also
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 be crumpled. Some of these wild
species
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 require ample spaces, which may not be available in
the
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apply
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urban areas. As
such
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, the environment where they are kept may not be conducive for their survival,
hence
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 affecting their general wellbeing. In a worst-case scenario, these
species
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 may end up dying because of
unconducive
Correct article usage
an unconducive
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 living environment.
On the other hand
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, the survival of wild
animals
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 that are on the verge of extinction is guaranteed if they are kept in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Zoos
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. The rate at which
species
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such
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 as rhinos or elephants are being porched is alarming.
Therefore
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, it is always important to make sure that these
animals
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 are protected by all means.
Furthermore
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,
animals
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 being kept in the
Zoos
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 help in research and educational purpose. They can be constantly monitored and studied while in the Zoo as compared to their natural habitat.
Moreover
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, urban residents will
also
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 have an opportunity to visit the
Zoos
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instead
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 of
traveling
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travelling
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 to parks or wilderness
thus
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 saving their money and time. In my opinion, not every wild
species
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 should be in
the
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apply
show examples
captivity
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. Those that their existence is on the line should only be kept in the
Zoos
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, whereas those whose wild population is not threatened should always be in the wild.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
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