IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Large business's have big budget for promotions and advertisement and as a result people gravitate towards them

#business #budget #promotions #advertisement #people #gravitate
Big
businesses
 are spending
a hefty amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a hefty amount
hefty amounts
show examples
 of money on the promotion and advertisement of their brand.
Consequently
, the tend to buy their items has increased in
customers
 that are creating problems
such
 as loss of
customers
,
businesses
 closure and unemployment. The
government
 should be taken some measures to tackle
this
 phenomenon. The mega-corporations and multinational brands invest a huge amount of money in promulgation to attract the consumer's mind and more and more
customers
 have inclined towards them. As a consequence of
this
, People face
loss
Fix the agreement mistake
losses
show examples
 in their
businesses
,
customers
 attrition, unemployment and monopoly in the markets.
Moreover
, after getting a monopoly they don’t let authorities work and put pressure to not regulate quality.
Nevertheless
, some people believe that the
government
 should be taken it into account. Stat should impose a ban on these advertisements and promotions that are deceiving the public by exaggerating
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the appreciation and benefits of products.
In addition
 ,the regulars should regulate the quality of items without taking any pressure.
Furthermore
,
Add an article
the
show examples
government
 should encourage the
customers
 to shop from local
businesses
 free advertising on national T.V channels and should give loans to farmers and manufacturers to make good quality products. In the conclusion, the
government
 should make laws and put a ban on marking and promotions to handle
this
 situation. The Finance minister should provide them monetary support to stand them on their feet.
Submitted by naila.shafique111 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: