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Writing Samples
Band 6

The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

#education #school
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Education
Use synonyms
 from
parents
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 has a vital role in building a better relationship with their
children
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.
However
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,
education
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 in
schools
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 has more things that
parents
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 cannot teach their
children
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. I believe
education
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 in
schools
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 plays a more important role in solving adolescent issues and establishing
children
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’s diverse
values
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 than
education
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 from their
parents
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.
This
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 essay will discuss two main benefits of instruction in
schools
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 and reasons to support my opinion.
Firstly
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,
schools
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 can sympathize with
children
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’s physical concerns and offer classes about physical growth in adolescents to solve their worries. Generally,
children
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 are so sensitive that they are not willing to confide their physical problems to their
parents
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. Because
children
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 tend to consider their secondary growth embarrassing, they hesitate to share the anxiety with their
parents
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.
However
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,
schools
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 can cope with
this
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 problem by providing them with health and physical classes. In
such
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 courses, teachers explain and illustrate what is happening in
children
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’s bodies, which can teach them secondary physical growth is just one of the processes of becoming adults and
thus
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 relieve their stress of having unclear physical concerns.
Secondly
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,
children
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 can broaden their perspectives in
schools
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. Generally, families share common
values
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 as they spend much time together;
however
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, they can interact with other students with different
values
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 in
schools
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.
For example
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, in an international school, there are many people coming from different countries with diverse cultural and academic backgrounds.
Children
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 can be involved in multiple
values
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 through interactions with these students.
Although
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 sometimes they have quarrels and trouble interacting with other unfamiliar and incompatible people,
this
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 is rather beneficial to develop perspective as failures are
also
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 great materials. Overall,
education
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 in
schools
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 has more benefits than
education
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 from
parents
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;
schools
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 can provide classes solving student’s personal concerns and opportunities to enlarge their perspectives.
Submitted by mothimothi19794 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • savings
  • investing
  • tax obligations
  • retirement planning
  • loans
  • credit
  • interest rates
  • crowded curricula
  • traditional academic subjects
  • real-life experiences
  • parental guidance
  • practical
  • intellectually rigorous
  • school syllabus
  • gig economy
  • income-streams
  • challenging
  • trained teachers
  • specialized field
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