IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off work to complete it. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Ask for some time off to complete a qualification. Suggest what you will do later at work if you have time off. Say how the qualification helps your job or company. You do NOT need to write any addresses. You should write at least 150 words.

#minutes #qualification #time #work #manager #job #company #addresses
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Dear Mark, I am writing
this
 letter to request
time
 off for three weeks of
time
 from the 3rd of February.I enrolled for a Production Assembly short course
last
 year and I couldn't complete it until
this
 year.
Therefore
 I would like to take some
time
 off and complete my course.
Furthermore
,
while
 I am away Harry will take over my tasks which I have already trained and in the meantime,if there is anything Harry or anyone could contact me via email or my personal mobile.I have trained him to do testing on minor instruments
as well as
 to do
documentations
Fix the agreement mistake
documentation
show examples
.
Moreover
, at the moment our company is getting more faulty instruments ,
therefore
 I believe
this
 course I am taking would help to resolve some problems we get in assembling and testing.
In addition
,I would appreciate it,if you could accept my
time
 off for the above period. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Faithfully, Marry Hass
Submitted by wathsalathilini75 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. For instance, your second paragraph could solely discuss the work handover to Harry, while the third paragraph could expand on how the course will benefit the company.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid abrupt transitions between topics. Use linking words or phrases to introduce new ideas or paragraphs. This will help in creating a smoother flow to your writing.
Task Achievement
Make sure your request for time off and the dates are clear and prominent within your letter, perhaps introducing this in the first paragraph for immediate clarity to the manager.
Task Achievement
Enhance the letter by explaining more about the specifics of how the qualification will help with the job or company. This will make for a more compelling argument as to why you should be granted time off.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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