IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many parents encourage young people to leave home early when they become older,while others think they should stay at home with the family.discuss both views and give your opinions

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Youths tend to move out of their
home
Use synonyms
 as they grow up. While a section of
parents
Use synonyms
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
this
Linking Words
 act of leaving
home
Use synonyms
 early, others share a different opinion.
This
Linking Words
 essay will throw light on both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perspectives,
however
Linking Words
 in my opinion they should continue to stay with family since family teaches important values of
life
Use synonyms
. Many
parents
Use synonyms
 believe that as an individual grows up, he or she should move out of the
home
Use synonyms
. They are of the opinion that staying aloof from the family teaches the budding generation about the hurdles of
life
Use synonyms
. When a person starts living alone, he is forced to take care of himself, thereby learning many
Use synonyms
life saving
Add a hyphen
life-saving
show examples
 jobs.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person while alone, learns the act of cooking, washing clothes and managing finances. These new skills make a budding youth more self-dependent. While the young generation enjoys the sense of freedom and
independency
Correct your spelling
independence
show examples
 staying away from
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
, he tends to miss out on the opportunity of sharing his
life
Use synonyms
 with his family.
This
Linking Words
 option is supported by a section of the
parents
Use synonyms
, who believe that families should stay together and that families can teach valuable lessons of
life
Use synonyms
 too.
For example
Linking Words
, youths can better cultivate the art of sharing and caring for others. Those who decide to stay back in their own
home
Use synonyms
 tend to be more humane than their counterparts.
This
Linking Words
 consolidates the perception that men
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to develop better while living among
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
closed
Replace the word
close
show examples
 ones. To summarize,
although
Linking Words
 a proportion of
parents
Use synonyms
 encourage the young men to move out of the
home
Use synonyms
 as they grow older, I support a different perception since I believe that living with
closed
Replace the word
close
show examples
 ones helps a growing person not only to learn important values of
life
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 to become more expressive and caring towards other people.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: