IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic Television injects violence in children, and programs with violent scenes should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #television #violence #children #programs #scenes
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Use synonyms
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of the people
belives
Correct your spelling
believes
show examples
 that the violent
content
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
 shows is the primary reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
agression
Correct your spelling
aggression
 in school children. To some
extent
Add a comma
,extent
show examples
 I believe
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
content
Use synonyms
 should be banned from
a programs
Correct the article-noun agreement
programs
a program
show examples
boardcasted
Correct your spelling
broadcasted
broadcaster
 for young
audiance
Correct your spelling
audience
audiences
. In the following
paragraph
Add a comma
,paragraph
show examples
 I will explain the reason for my notion.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
TV
Use synonyms
 shows with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brutual
content
Use synonyms
 should be banned for the youth, as they increase the aggressiveness among the school children.
Secondly
Linking Words
, horror and action movies with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agressive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
content
Use synonyms
 always provoke the young
audiance
Correct your spelling
audience
 to perform the stunt.
For instance
Linking Words
, due to the Wrestling World Cup
kids
Use synonyms
 has viewed the action
content
Use synonyms
 ,
hence
Linking Words
 they ended up imitating the same in the
resedential
Correct your spelling
residential
 society;
therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of them suffered
with
Change the preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fractures on their hands.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
tv
Use synonyms
 shows are viewed by
Use synonyms
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
kids
Use synonyms
 but all are not
aggreesive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
 in nature;
thus
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
 shows are not the major factor of violence among the
kids
Use synonyms
. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, Children with the
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
attitute
Correct your spelling
attitude
 are not impacted with the surrounding . They understand the impact of
content
Use synonyms
 in shows and don't try to replicate the action scenes.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, youth were violent even before the
TV
Use synonyms
 was invented. According to the studies, one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 major source of
viloince
Correct your spelling
violence
 is
illetracy
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
, as the
majority
Use synonyms
 of junivile in the US prison are
illetrate
Correct your spelling
illiterate
illustrated
. In conclusion, it is clear
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the above examples that
illetracty
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
 is the key factor for the
voilence
Correct your spelling
violence
 among
kids
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, while banning the
curuel
Correct your spelling
cruel
content
Use synonyms
 on a
TV
Use synonyms
 channel ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should take
initiavte
Correct your spelling
initiative
initiate
 to promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education among
kids
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahulbhajji on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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