IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general.

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It has been suggested that topic for discussion, the minority of
people
Use synonyms
 engage with
hobbies
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 day and age. We will discuss the reasons and consequences in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, reasons on
this
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 matter. As a matter of fact, work hours are long and
people
Use synonyms
's mental focus and mood can be affected by
this
Linking Words
 situation,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 some jobs or obligations can be selected with hardships. As a pattern, many
people
Use synonyms
 must work on weekdays,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 violation of rules isn'
t
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 obeyed by employers or others and
people
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 don'
t
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 have
courage
Add an article
the courage
show examples
 for realizing
hobbies
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in fact, technology is making progress step by step, so
people
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 prefer to utilize
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
technology when they have free
time
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 or they like to watch various programs on television or social media
such
Linking Words
 as youtube, some canals on Facebook and others.
Hence
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, there are some situations in society, they don'
t
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 allow to realize
hobbies
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 by
people
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. Let us take a look at the results of
this
Linking Words
 topic. No doubt, the
activties
Correct your spelling
activities
 aren'
t
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 done to create various consequences. I believe strongly
this
Linking Words
 process will affect a person's worldwide, comments, living style and so on. In fact, many children or the young try to become like their parents. I must admit that the young will learn what they see from their parents. Briefly, probably, children will accustom negative things as an example playing games on phone, watching websites more
time
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 than average and so on. I want to reaffirm
this
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 condition is crucial and indispensable for the future and the young are our future. To sum up, I believe strongly
time
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 ought to be devoted by a person for
hobbies
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 these activities are decisive and useful. In my opinion, these actions will become profitable for everyone and
people
Use synonyms
 can spend
time
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 more than before.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
What to do next:
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