Shopping should be perceived as a form of self-indulgence rather than about buying things that are necessary. Do you agree or disagree?

#form #self-indulgence

These days, the question of whether to observe shopping as a type of self-indulgence or buying necessary things has attracted a lot of public discussions. From my point of view, I totally agree that shopping needs to be seen as a form of pleasure-seeking. In the

first

place

, shopping is one of the activities that could help to relax

people

’s minds.

For example

, my mom always chooses shopping as an entertaining activity after a busy and

streessful

Correct your spelling

stressful

working day.

Instead

of buying necessary goods like

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

, household stuffs for my family; sometimes she treats herself with a new dress or the latest high-heel shoes from her

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

brand.

Therefore

, we can see that shopping take a huge part in helping

people

boost their

emotion

Fix the agreement mistake

emotions

show examples

rather than buying necessary things.

Furthermore

, shopping

also

means as a

place

of enjoyment for

people

to visit some shopping places to meet up with family or friends. In fact, shopping malls often offer various forms of entertainment which are suitable for every single group of age.

For example

, parents could enjoy themselves with a

blockblaster

Correct your spelling

blockbuster

in the cinema or an exotic meal in a restaurant while their children can play games in the game

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

Moreover

, friends can chit chat in a café or just do some window shopping.

As a result

people

these days consider shopping places as a

place

of entertainment more than just

Correct article usage

show examples

place

for buying

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

. In conclusion, I strongly believe that

people

nowsaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

are treating themselves with shopping which is seen as a way of reducing stress and recovering

spiritual

Change preposition

from spiritual

show examples

life.

Submitted by n.v.xuan84 on Thu Aug 12 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping should be perceived as a form of self-indulgence rather than about buying things that are necessary. Do you agree or disagree?

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Crime can. Be controlled by individual or at government level. Discuss both views.

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem?