In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard for their study. What do you think the causes and what solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent decades, the
study
burden has been increased on the youngsters. They do have not much
time
to relax. Resultant, anxiety is increasing among them due to
study
pressure. In
this
essay, I would discuss the main cause of
study
load and the solution.
This
is the era of competition , young students have a lot of pressure to achieve maximum marks from their
school
and parents. Parents and teachers think if they achieve
a good academic scores
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good academic score
good academic scores
show examples
then
only they have a chance to get admission to university and
school
according to their interest
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
field
Correct article usage
the field
show examples
. To get the
desire
Change the verb form
desired
show examples
score, they stretch
study
time
.
First
, It is mandatory to attend the class to get the minimum attendance in the
school
. After
school
, they go for coaching classes . They spend most of their
time
completing the homework of the
school
and extra classes. They have not much remaining to spend on themselves.
This
cause
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
stress among them. I would like to suggest that education
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
should be improved so that there is no need to take extra classes. I prefer coaching
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
should be allowed after
school
. Parents should support the idea and they should stop putting pressure on children . They should help and encourage them to develop Another field so that young students can spend gala
time
in sports,
relative
Fix the agreement mistake
relatives
show examples
and friends.
This
would help to grow
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
a decent personality. In the end, I conclude that hard work in
study
is mandatory to get
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
desire university and institution. At the same
time
, physical and mental fitness must be developed with balance. Good learner students with strong mental and physical personalities make a healthy nation.
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Leisure time
  • Pressure
  • Study
  • Competitive
  • Education system
  • High expectations
  • Parents
  • Society
  • Financial pressure
  • Flexible
  • School schedules
  • Work-life balance
  • Mental health support
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