Some people think that having a set retirement age for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit

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Retirement

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age

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is the time when

people

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will be free from their

proffetional

Correct your spelling

professional

responsibilities and take care of

their self

Correct pronoun usage

themself

themselves

show examples

. Some

people

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beileve

Correct your spelling

believe

that having

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

retirement

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age

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for every

proffetion

Correct your spelling

profession

injustice

Correct article usage

an injustice

show examples

. Indeed,

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retirement

Add an article

the retirement

show examples

age

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would be set according to

job

Use synonyms

type

not

Add the comma(s)

,not

show examples

on the

basis

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of person’s

age

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay

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,essay

show examples

I will discuss why I am

disgree

Correct your spelling

disagree

with

universal

Correct article usage

the universal

show examples

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

and will

dicuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

why it should

be decide

Change the verb form

be decided

show examples

on the

basis

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of individual’s mental and

phisical

Correct your spelling

physical

helth

Correct your spelling

health

required to perform the

job

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. The main reason why

people

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think that the

proffetional

Correct your spelling

professional

exit

age

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should be decided on the

basis

Use synonyms

of physical

helth

Correct your spelling

health

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

jobs’s

Remove the s

jobs’

show examples

roles and

responsibilites

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

include physical fitness.

For example

Linking Words

security

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the security

show examples

guard could not perform his

duities

Correct your spelling

duties

well if he is suffering from some

phisical

Correct your spelling

physical

illness as he could not able to run behind the bugler if any

buglerry

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burglary

happened in the society or

orgnaization

Correct your spelling

organization

organisation

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

people

Use synonyms

will not safe at their

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

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/apartments if their

Fix the agreement mistake

guards

show examples

guard

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isguard

wasguard

show examples

not capable to protect them. So that It is

mendatory

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mandatory

to retire the person on the

basis

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of their health required to perform the

job

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not

Add the comma(s)

,not

show examples

on the

basis

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Change preposition

show examples

the

age

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, along with

phisical

Correct your spelling

physical

helth

Correct your spelling

health

mental help should

also

Linking Words

be evaluated for

retirement

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This

Linking Words

is simply because older

people

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’s

grassping

Correct your spelling

grasping

power is low and technology is changing every day and most of the work demand updated technologies.

For instance

Linking Words

, most of the IT

compnines

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companies

work on

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

languages and

tool

Fix the agreement mistake

tools

show examples

to compete with

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

and

these

Change the determiner

this lauguagea

show examples

lauguagea

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languages

language

and

toold

Correct your spelling

tools

are far different from the older languages and tools. So, to learn and build

project

Correct article usage

a project

show examples

with tools require good grasping power which

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older

people

Use synonyms

doesn’t have. It not only

impact’s

Correct your spelling

impacts

show examples

company’s performance but

also

Linking Words

elder

people

Use synonyms

’s mental health.

Therefore

Linking Words

, It would be good

consider

Fix the infinitive

to consider

show examples

mental

heallth

Correct your spelling

health

as a measure while deciding

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

having a set

retirement

Use synonyms

would be

benificial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for some

people

Use synonyms

it would be decided on the

baisis

Correct your spelling

basis

of some measures including their physical and mental health required to perform the

job

Use synonyms

Submitted by manasvimahant on Fri Aug 13 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
unfair
pension
occupation
workers
physically demanding jobs
professions
stress
responsibility
long years of service
excellent contributions
eligibility
individual circumstances
case-by-case basis

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Some people think that having a set retirement age for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work.why do you think it is happening?do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantage.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries thought that children have to do homework in their free time while others say children should do more outdoor activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people nowadays change career more frequently than ever before while others stick to a single job. What are the advantages and disadvantages of changing career?