Some people think that having a set retirement age for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit

Retirement

age

is the time when

people

will be free from their

proffetional

Correct your spelling

professional

responsibilities and take care of

their self

Correct pronoun usage

themself

themselves

show examples

. Some

people

beileve

Correct your spelling

believe

that having

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

retirement

age

for every

proffetion

Correct your spelling

profession

injustice

Correct article usage

an injustice

show examples

. Indeed,

retirement

Add an article

the retirement

show examples

age

would be set according to

job

type

not

Add the comma(s)

,not

show examples

on the

basis

of person’s

age

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will discuss why I am

disgree

Correct your spelling

disagree

with

universal

Correct article usage

the universal

show examples

retirement

age

and will

dicuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

why it should

be decide

Change the verb form

be decided

show examples

on the

basis

of individual’s mental and

phisical

Correct your spelling

physical

helth

Correct your spelling

health

required to perform the

job

. The main reason why

people

think that the

proffetional

Correct your spelling

professional

exit

age

should be decided on the

basis

of physical

helth

Correct your spelling

health

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

jobs’s

Remove the s

jobs’

show examples

roles and

responsibilites

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

include physical fitness.

For example

security

Add an article

the security

show examples

guard could not perform his

duities

Correct your spelling

duties

well if he is suffering from some

phisical

Correct your spelling

physical

illness as he could not able to run behind the bugler if any

buglerry

Correct your spelling

burglary

happened in the society or

orgnaization

Correct your spelling

organization

organisation

As a

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

people

will not safe at their

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

/apartments if their

Fix the agreement mistake

guards

show examples

guard

Add a verb

isguard

wasguard

show examples

not capable to protect them. So that It is

mendatory

Correct your spelling

mandatory

to retire the person on the

basis

of their health required to perform the

job

not

Add the comma(s)

,not

show examples

on the

basis

Change preposition

show examples

the

age

Additionally

, along with

phisical

Correct your spelling

physical

helth

Correct your spelling

health

mental help should

also

be evaluated for

retirement

This

is simply because older

people

’s

grassping

Correct your spelling

grasping

power is low and technology is changing every day and most of the work demand updated technologies.

For instance

, most of the IT

compnines

Correct your spelling

companies

work on

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

languages and

tool

Fix the agreement mistake

tools

show examples

to compete with

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

and

these

Change the determiner

this lauguagea

show examples

lauguagea

Correct your spelling

languages

language

and

toold

Correct your spelling

tools

are far different from the older languages and tools. So, to learn and build

project

Correct article usage

a project

show examples

with tools require good grasping power which

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older

people

doesn’t have. It not only

impact’s

Correct your spelling

impacts

show examples

company’s performance but

also

elder

people

’s mental health.

Therefore

, It would be good

consider

Fix the infinitive

to consider

show examples

mental

heallth

Correct your spelling

health

as a measure while deciding

retirement

age

. In conclusion,

although

having a set

retirement

would be

benificial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for some

people

it would be decided on the

baisis

Correct your spelling

basis

of some measures including their physical and mental health required to perform the

job

Submitted by manasvimahant on Fri Aug 13 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

343 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
unfair
pension
occupation
workers
physically demanding jobs
professions
stress
responsibility
long years of service
excellent contributions
eligibility
individual circumstances
case-by-case basis

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Some people think that having a set retirement age for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

A balanced diet, or eating balanced meals, is the key to a healthy life. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, while others think we can use as much water as we want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the media should be for entertainment only. While other people believed that media should have education value. Discuss both view and give your own view

With the rise of the internet more and more people are getting their news from social media platforms. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?