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Band 5

Some people think that the government should spend more money on public services rather than wasting it on arts. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #services #arts
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of people argue,that the nation should expenditure more money on
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 sector other than on
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
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.I agree
to
Change preposition
with
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 the above statement.In the following paragraph.I
inteed
Correct your spelling
intend
 to divulge
by
Correct your spelling
my
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 opinion on the argument. It is
undisputable
Correct your spelling
indisputable
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 that authorities should spend the money on health sectors.
Firstly
,the underdeveloped and developing nations should have better quantity in the hospitals and medications.
Furthurmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,the people under the below poverty line must be helped by the
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
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soley
Correct your spelling
solely
 budget plans which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 used for the betterment of life
to
Change preposition
apply
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the poor.states
has
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have
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 to take steps
in
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apply
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the improvement of the health conditions to the people who cannot afford costly medicine or treatment.
for instance
 , according to private researches around 1'4 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
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 population expire due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of standard medication.
Secondly
,it is undeniable that
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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 sector has a major impact on the development of a country.The government have to allot certain funds specifically for the use of
education
Correct article usage
the education
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 system.
This
 could help the students whom cannot have the burden of fee
that is
 imposed by private schools,
consequently
 the higher in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of literacy rate the more chance to have a better state.
Forexample
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For example
,In
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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India
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of India
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 Kerala is the only state to have
the
Correct article usage
an
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 academic rate above 85%.
On the other hand
,art play
on
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
important
Add an article
an important
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 role in the country to know the history and culture of its own.
This
improve
Change the verb form
improves
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 the imagination skills in the young and to understand the past of the country the migration,cultivation,languages as well as the culture of their kind.
However
,it helps to know about ancient ages it does not help in
betterment
Add an article
the betterment
a betterment
show examples
 of lifestyle. To conclude,art has
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 specific impact on the future generations to learn about the past generation but expenditure on the public serves could change the quantity of living and the increase in economic and literacy rate.
Submitted by chinnublaster99 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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