IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that the government should spend more money on public services rather than wasting it on arts. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #services #arts
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of people argue,that the nation should expenditure more money on
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 sector other than on
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
.I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the above statement.In the following paragraph.I
inteed
Correct your spelling
intend
 to divulge
by
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
 opinion on the argument. It is
undisputable
Correct your spelling
indisputable
show examples
 that authorities should spend the money on health sectors.
Firstly
,the underdeveloped and developing nations should have better quantity in the hospitals and medications.
Furthurmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,the people under the below poverty line must be helped by the
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
show examples
soley
Correct your spelling
solely
 budget plans which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 used for the betterment of life
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the poor.states
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to take steps
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the improvement of the health conditions to the people who cannot afford costly medicine or treatment.
for instance
 , according to private researches around 1'4 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 population expire due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of standard medication.
Secondly
,it is undeniable that
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
 sector has a major impact on the development of a country.The government have to allot certain funds specifically for the use of
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system.
This
 could help the students whom cannot have the burden of fee
that is
 imposed by private schools,
consequently
 the higher in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of literacy rate the more chance to have a better state.
Forexample
Correct your spelling
For example
,In
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
India
Change preposition
of India
show examples
 Kerala is the only state to have
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 academic rate above 85%.
On the other hand
,art play
on
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 role in the country to know the history and culture of its own.
This
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 the imagination skills in the young and to understand the past of the country the migration,cultivation,languages as well as the culture of their kind.
However
,it helps to know about ancient ages it does not help in
betterment
Add an article
the betterment
a betterment
show examples
 of lifestyle. To conclude,art has
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 specific impact on the future generations to learn about the past generation but expenditure on the public serves could change the quantity of living and the increase in economic and literacy rate.
Submitted by chinnublaster99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!