IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organization #be #case
Recently, more
people
 start working by themselves
instead
 of working in a company. The reasons for
this
 are, they can choose how much to
work
 or to plan schedules for what they want.
However
, working
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 individuals will have some problems, like money. Individual workers can choose what they want to do.
For example
,
people
 who
work
 in companies have to do the task until a predetermined time.
This
 will cause stress to employees. So a self worker can
change
 the time to
work
.
In addition
, self workers can
change
 their schedules when they
work
.
For instance
, the
job
 was for
night
Add an article
the night
show examples
, the owner can close until night, if the
job
 was active in the morning, the owner can open in the morning and close at night.
On the other hand
, starting a new
job
 or keeping the
place
 to
work
 will cost money.
This
 is a hard thing for workers who
work
 by themselves. The items for jobs, the
place
 for
work
.
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
 they have to get a
place
 or if the
job
 was from another person, the cost to keep the
place
.
Second
, they have to get items.
Third
, the opportunities are owned. From these
disadvantages
Add a comma
,disadvantages
show examples
 some
people
 choose to
work
 at a company.
Also
, the benefits will
change
 by their ability. So it is not known to fail or succeed. In conclusion, working for oneself have many advantages
such
 as the time and schedules are free to
change
.
Nevertheless
, the money spent on objects needed or location
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 expensive. By knowing these negatives,
people
 choose to
work
 by themselves.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
Look at other essays: