In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays,
people
are aware
of animal rights than in the past year. Some believe that the products from Correct quantifier usage
more aware
animals
are no
need to be made for the sake of human benefits, for clothes Verb problem
do not
as well as
food. This
essay agrees with this
viewpoint and provides compelling reasons as well as
examples before the conclusion is reached.
The fundamental reason for this
is that animals
have their own right to happily survive with no pain. Therefore
, it
is no valid reason to find the benefits from them by taking them to be done in scientific research. Correct pronoun usage
there
Additionally
, the over-consumption of animals
will attribute
to certain health conditions, including cancer and heart disease. Experts suggest that Verb problem
contribute
people
, facing with
it, need to change their diet so that they can enjoy better health in life. Change preposition
apply
Hence
, this
is supported
the idea that Wrong verb form
supports
people
nowadays forbid consuming animal food.
Furthermore
, there is an alternative medication, which is not required to test on animals
and that can use
well to cure the patient as Wrong verb form
be used
efficient
as those of Change the word
efficiently
animals
such
as plant-based medicine. As a result
, these aid medical practitioners have various ways to alleviate the patient in order to choose medicine, based on animals
. In addition
, some clothing industries have enormous types of fabric so that the animal’s fur is unnecessary to be produced
. Wrong verb form
produce
Moreover
, both artificial and plant materials are far more comfortable to put on rather than those of animals
.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are various artificial routes in order to be subjected on
human Change preposition
to
whatever
fields, which some provide more efficient than animal ways. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Therefore
, I personally believe that in the future, people
will no longer use animal products in any area of interest.Submitted by palmynawa on
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coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. Connect paragraphs clearly to the main argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This can help strengthen your points and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Work on expanding and clarifying the ideas presented in each paragraph. This will help to develop a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making the structure easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides reasons for the viewpoint, which is key for task achievement.
task achievement
The essay attempts to use varied vocabulary and sentence structures, which is commendable.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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