In some countries people’s weight has significantly increased while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem and what solutions can you suggest solving them? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#countries #people’s #weight #levels #health #minutes

Obesity

is a

health

condition in which accumulated body fat negatively affects a person's physical well-being and leads to more serious

health

disorders including high blood pressure and diabetes,

as a result

, it has been found to decrease life expectancy. Worldwide, there has been an increase in the number of people who are overweight, rising concern amongst the governments and

health

authorities.

This

essay will explore

reasons

Correct article usage

the reasons

show examples

and potential solutions

Change preposition

show examples

this

problem. Poor dietary choices and improper

food

consumption habits are believed to be contributing to the increasing levels of

obesity

and its resultants. As more people lead a busy and hectic lifestyle, they face difficulties allocating adequate amounts of time to prepare healthy and nutritious meals.

therefore

, they are becoming heavily reliant on

consumption

Add an article

the consumption

show examples

of energy-dense fast foods and sweetened beverages like soft drinks, which are offered at affordable costs and are easily accessible.

This

widespread availability and consumption of junk

food

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been regarded as the main reason behind

obesity

and related

health

issues. Imposing

tax

Add an article

a tax

show examples

on fast

food

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is an effective way that the government can intervene and thereby reduce the use of fast

food

, as a higher price can deter the person from buying these foods.

in addition

, certain medications can be used to minimize appetite or decrease fat absorption.

Furthermore

Remove the article

apply

show examples

surgery can be performed to reduce the volume of

stomach

Add an article

the stomach

show examples

that can result in feeling full earlier or decrease the ability to absorb excess amount fat from

food

intake. In conclusion, I am convinced that

although

obesity

is a cause of premature death, it is completely preventable. by changing our dietary habits and eating healthy

food

, we can avoid

obesity

and lead

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

life.

Submitted by poryamo on Sat Aug 14 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In most countries around the world, children begin learning the English language at school from the primary level. What are the advantages and disadvantages of teaching the English language to children at an early age?

Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion?

A large income is much more important than being satisfied at work. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.