IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays,a lot of people prefer to be self-employed to work for a compamy because this way,they can follow their passions and be satisfied with their own life.In my view,the main disadvantages would be struggling and needs of employees and money for some cases.

#people #work #compamy #passions #life #employees #money #cases
Nowadays,a lot of
people
 prefer to be self-employed to work for a company because
this
 way,they can follow their passions and be satisfied with their own life.In my view,the main disadvantages would be struggling and needs of employees and money in some cases. Sometimes,
people
 would leave their own stable and high-salary jobs mainly because they wanted to do what they really wanted to do.
This
 is because even though their
job
 might be secure and high-paying,they are not really happy about it as they didn't like that
job
.So they were just quiet .There was a guy who really quitted his secure and high-salary
job
 because he presented an idea about sharing other
people
's stories and his boss didn't agree with it.And so he quitted his
job
 and started sharing other
people
's stories on YouTube. Of course,everything has its own disadvantages.Starting your own business,you will really need to struggle as it is not secure and your income will depend on how well you are doing.Depending on your business,you will need employees and lots of investments from other
people
.Like a restaurant.The guy I mentioned in the above paragraph
also
 struggled a lot but his idea wasn't going well and he
also
 needed editors but he needed his money for travelling.It was so painful and hard for him that he almost gave up. In conclusion,
although
 some
people
 quit working for others and be self-employed comes with huge disadvantages,it is really worth it when their efforts are steadily paying off.Like that ,YouTuber I mentioned in which one of the stories of one person became suddenly popular and was able to keep doing it even now.
Submitted by Shwe Yamin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: