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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

#percentage #children #society #ten #years #effects #trend
Nowadays, one of the biggest controversial issues facing the world is
obesity
 in
children
. In recent decades, studies
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shown that approximately 20% of
children
 in
western
Add an article
the western
show examples
 community suffer from excess weight.
Hence
, a range of triggering factors as well as consequences of
this
 frustrating tendency will be highlighted in
this
 paper.
To begin
 with, there are various causes of
obesity
.
However
, in my view, one of the prominent reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 problem is eating
disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
show examples
. Popularity intake of fast foods
such
 as hamburgers, pizzas and fries which
high
Add a missing verb
are high
show examples
 in fat,salt and sugar contributes to overweight. A
further
 possible cause of fatness is
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle. As, in modern society,
children
 more and more prefer playing computer games rather than physical activities. So that, lack of inactive lifestyle gives rise to gaining weight. When it comes to effects of the
obesity
. it is more likely to induce chronic diseases
such
 as blood pressure, diabetes and heart problems in
adult
Correct article usage
the adult
show examples
 life of
children
.
Besides
, obese
children
 may be insulted by their peers due to their excess weight. Because
,
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apply
show examples
they usually suffer from loss of productivity. As a
consequences
Correct the article-noun agreement
consequence
show examples
 of
this
,they may end up with
mental
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the mental
show examples
 and physical
disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
show examples
. In conclusion, unhealthy eating habits
as well as sedentary
Add the comma(s)
, as well as sedentary lifestyle,
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 lead to
obesity
 in
children
.
Hence
, it may impact on
physical
Add an article
the physical
show examples
 and psychological state of
children
 in an adverse aspect.
Submitted by Parvina on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • obesity
  • caloric intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical education
  • nutritious
  • psychological well-being
  • self-esteem
  • socioeconomic
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • obesity-related complications
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