Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed becaused of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

It is evident that
technology
has changed the ways of communication and influenced
relationships
in
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
various.
People
often debate whether
this
phenomenon has any negative or positive development on
relationships
. In my opinion, even though
this
advancement may have some positive impact, its influences are mainly negative.
To begin
with, the principal way in which a relationship has been affected by
technology
is that they tend to be far away rather than face-to-face.
This
is because the internet is now available in many parts of the world and
thus
,
people
can communicate with their friends, families, and clients scattered across the world no matter the distance.
Therefore
, it would be more convenient for
people
to interact on the internet.
In addition
, the dominance of online communication can help us meet new
people
and expand our friend circle through various social platforms.
For example
, Facebook, one of the most successful social networking website, has a feature that recommends us
people
that has mutual friends or individuals that we may
interested
Change the verb form
interest

The verb interested after the modal verb may does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
in following.
However
, despite these merits, communicating through electronic devices has made the quality of interaction significantly declined in several aspects. If
people
are developing most of their
relationships
online,
this
means that they may
also
have less person-to-person contact.
As a result
, online communication is likely to undermine a person's social ability in real life.
For instance
, a worker may be unable to connect with his co-workers well because he spends a majority of his time chatting on the internet.
In addition
, the bonds between
people
online are often weak and short-lasting.
By contrast
friendships in real life,
people
see each other regularly and have
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
strong and long-lasting
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships

It seems that relationship may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
Hence
, one can conclude that
technology
has influenced
relationships
in a negative way. In conclusion,
although
technology
has brought particular positive development in the way
people
interact with each other
such
as eliminating the need to travel as well as the chance to have a plethora of new friends, I believe that
this
is overall a negative development because of the short duration of a relationship online and the decrease in one's social skills.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your writing score in 2 weeks
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Check your IELTS essays
Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.