IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. Do you agree or disagree?

#job #money
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A vast majority of our adult life is spent working;
hence
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 it is important that we have an appropriate
job
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 that fulfils our aspirations. While financial remuneration is an important factor that attracts individuals towards a specific
work
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, there are other factors of equal significance that make a
job
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 ideal.
Firstly
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, the importance of financial security cannot be undermined in the modern materialistic world. Since a vast majority of people earn their livelihood from their workplace, it will be difficult for individuals with
single
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a single
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 source of income, to make their ends meet, from underpaying jobs.
Thus
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 underpaid employees, because of their financial burdens, may not be able to offer dedication and commitment at
workplace
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the workplace
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, which in turn results in under-performance.
Secondly
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, the educated refrain from being employed in underpaying jobs, as these are less attractive.
Hence
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 the remuneration associated
,
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apply
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 is an important factor that determines the value of a particular
job
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.
On the other hand
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, to glorify higher earning as the sole determiner of an ideal
job
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 is incorrect.
This
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 is because various other factors like
work
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 and life balance; working place culture and adequate recognition
contribute
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contributes
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 towards satisfaction and contentment in
work
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.
Thus
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 an astronomically
higher paying
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higher-paying
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job
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 with a demanding employer, with poor social life in a tedious
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Correct your spelling
workplace
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work place
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workplace
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 environment will lead to higher
job
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 dissatisfaction, which in turn will
also
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 promote higher attrition. Henceforth, it can be stated that apart from financial remuneration, which is a major determiner of a good occupation,
job
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 satisfaction is
also
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 an equally important associated factor that determines the value of a specific
job
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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