You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. In your letter, include the following information: what kind of business you want to start how much money you need the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money

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Dear Sir or Madam, I trust you are doing well. I am writing

this

Linking Words

to inquire about a business

loan

Use synonyms

for my startup. First and foremost, I would like to start a robotics company

that is

Linking Words

speacilized

Correct your spelling

specialized

specialised

automotive

Add an article

the automotive

show examples

industry to increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productivity and lower

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

manufacturing costs.

In addition

Linking Words

, I would

also

Linking Words

open

Fix the infinitive

to open

show examples

a manufacturing plant in Toronto.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I am seeking a

loan

Use synonyms

of five million

canadian

Change the capitalization

Canadian

show examples

dollars to build the manufacturing and research and development facility.

Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

loan

Use synonyms

will be utilized to purchase

machineries

Change the wording

machinery

types of machinery

pieces of machinery

show examples

Correct word choice

and equipments

show examples

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

to build the construction of the company.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, after a careful analysis of the current automotive market demands

as well as

Linking Words

sales forecast, I would like to borrow the money for 15 years which will be paid

Change preposition

show examples

equal monthly

installments

Change the spelling

instalments

show examples

. Please do not hesitate to request any additional

infomation

Correct your spelling

information

that you may require to process my

loan

Use synonyms

. Thank you. Sincerely, Ruchin Patel

ruchin27Sat Apr 05 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar/spelling

Consider correcting spelling mistakes (e.g., 'speacilized' should be 'specialized' and 'infomation' should be 'information').

coherence

Ensure that each paragraph stays focused on a single idea, as some ideas could be split into more distinct paragraphs for clarity.

task response

Expanding on why the robotics company is unique or how it can contribute to the industry might strengthen your proposal.

task achievement

The letter has a clear purpose and addresses the request for information about a business loan effectively.

coherence

The closing and greeting are polite and appropriate for the context, thereby reflecting a good writing tone.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

160 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial forecast
cash flow analysis
target market
startup capital
business plan
profitability
repayment schedule
collateral
creditworthiness
entrepreneurial venture
capital expenditure
industry analysis

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

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