whoever controls the media also controls people's opinions and attitudes and little can be done to rectify this. To what extent to do you agree or disagree?

#controls #media #people #attitudes

Technology has been developing for many years.

People

who use social

media

have been increasing every day. Whoever controls the

media

also

check individual’s brains and behaviours.

In addition

this

, they can correct

this

circumstance. Some

people

believe that

this

situation can create bad effects while others think that they do not agree with

this

opinion. I strongly agree that social

media

can affect strongly human’s life.

To begin

with, using phone applications can create some problems for teenagers.

For example

, if a child uses the internet, her brain development can be slow. Maybe when

this

girl is 6 years old, she starts to talk.

Therefore

, parents have to be careful that it can be possible.

As a result

this

, some humans strongly believe that the internet is harmful to the young.

Furthermore

, some applications and whoever controls the

media

can control individuals’ opinions.

For instance

, there is an application and its name is Tweeter. According to most

people

, it involves terrible news and when a person searches

this

news, he feels very depressive and

this

situation affects his life

such

as he does not want to do anything from now.

Also

, according to researches, some app owners do

this

on purpose because they want individuals to use their apps more. To sum up, technology has evolved and with

Add a comma

,it

show examples

some problems have arisen some

people

have been severely affected by them, while others have continued their lives normally. I agree that it has taken a serious place in our lives and has made a bad impression.

Submitted by aslinur.ozcan on Sun Aug 15 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

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Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Research has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes in some countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?