IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Topic 21: It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

#topic #children #countryside #city
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Some people think
children
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 should grow up in the
countryside
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 because
children
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 can enjoy a memorable childhood in the
countryside
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 that a big
city
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 cannot provide.
However
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, I prefer to choose
children
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 should grow up in a big
city
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. A big
city
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 will take
children
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 too many important things , rather than
children
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 just have fun in the
countryside
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.
First
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 of all , I think the best important point is education. As well known, if a child wants to get a good educational resource,it is very important to take education in a big
city
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. Big cities always have high-quality teachers , various famous schools for
children
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 to choose from and a good study environment.
Secondly
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, the
countryside
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 may not only haven't enough hospitals but
also
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 there's the quality of doctors are lower than in cities. Obviously , many
children
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 get sickness always be taken to
city
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's hospital due to country's hospital can't handle it. In fact , some people will disagree with my opinion because they think a child's serious commission is having a good time in their childhood rather than study hard. To be honesty, modern family's
children
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 always follow high competition after they
burned
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are burned
show examples
. If you never impose on your
children
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 some pressure,your child may become the only loser in a remarkable group of lots of
children
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. To conclude,
children
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 who grow up in the
city
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 will definitely be accompanied by a lot of drawbacks.
However
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 , they can gain a more important resource that the
countryside
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don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
 have. If you want to you
children
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 can get more opportunity to become a successful person, the big
city
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 is the Irreplaceable choice.
Submitted by fox04157 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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