IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, as technology and the internet are developed rapidly, using social
media
Use synonyms
 like Facebook, Instagram and Whatapp's have become a trend in all generations. While, there are some drawbacks when
people
Use synonyms
 fill up their personal
information
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
phone
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
, birthday and the school they went on these kinds of programs.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement,
people
Use synonyms
 are at a high risk when they sharing their private
information
Use synonyms
 . There are several reasons to support my agreement.
First
Linking Words
 of all, if
people
Use synonyms
 share their
phone
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 on social
media
Use synonyms
 it might lead to some unnecessary scam
phone
Use synonyms
 calls and messages from the person who try to scam
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Because they seeking the
phone
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 all the time and they do not miss any opportunities to scam on you.
For example
Linking Words
, recently I decided my
phone
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 on Facebook,
then
Linking Words
 I got a
phone
Use synonyms
 call which prepending my bank staff to call me and try to check my bank details.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we should protect our personal
information
Use synonyms
 as privet as we can.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 increases the chance for the criminal to claim on you and hack
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 your technology devices like your smartphone and computer.
For instance
Linking Words
,in a recent report for the police officer in WA, the
number
Use synonyms
 of cyber craim like bank hacking and virus on the personal devices are enhanced by
people
Use synonyms
 who have not protected they
information
Use synonyms
 well. Which mean we should not share our personal
information
Use synonyms
 in the public
media
Use synonyms
. To sum up, Social
media
Use synonyms
 seem to be convenient to our daily life,
however
Linking Words
, we should protect our personal
information
Use synonyms
 to advise the risk of scams or claims.
Submitted by fankie.cecil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social media platforms
  • Connectivity
  • Self-expression
  • Creativity
  • Global communication
  • Instantaneous communication
  • Personal growth
  • Career advancement
  • Privacy concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Cyberbullying
  • Addiction
  • Productivity
  • Misinformation
  • Crisis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: