IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #sports #event #country
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To held an international
sports
Use synonyms
 event can benefit the
country
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 some
people
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 believe the opposite. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will highlight the advantages and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the statement above. Hosting
an international
Correct the article-noun agreement
international sports
an international sport
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 can give many advantages for the
country
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the international persons will have to pay visa to enter the
country
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 which
ofcourse
Correct your spelling
of course
 will be an income for the visiting
country
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, after the international events finish, these
people
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 can visit other cities in that
country
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, the tourism sector
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 filled with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international athletes and their
committee
Fix the agreement mistake
committees
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. These
people
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 will pay for meals,
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, transportation and other tourism places which will
also
Linking Words
 be an income for the local persons and the visiting
country
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 as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there will be an enormous cost to
held
Change the form of the verb
hold
show examples
an international
Correct the article-noun agreement
international sports
an international sport
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government has to develop the infrastructure of the
country
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 so that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international persons can access the
country
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 easily.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the government has to decorate the
country
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 with many
baliho
Correct your spelling
ballyhoo
 related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international events.
This
Linking Words
 decoration will not be cheap. To sum up, I agree that hosting an internal
sports
Use synonyms
 event is beneficial for the
country
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. As it does not only bring money to the
country
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, but it will introduce the beauty of the
country
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, the cultures and the
people
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 to those
people
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. Once they go back to their
country
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, they will share their experiences with their family and friends which will make these
people
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curiouse
Correct your spelling
curious
 to visit the
country
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.
Although
Linking Words
 it may cost big at the front,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I think it will be a great investment for
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
 sector.
Submitted by ayurizeki on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic boost
  • infrastructure
  • national pride
  • cultural showcase
  • inspire a generation
  • temporary boost
  • environmental concerns
  • sustainable planning
  • public funds
  • divert resources
  • tourism influx
  • job opportunities
  • sports development
  • public health
  • construction
  • strategic investment
  • global audience
  • hospitality
  • public services
  • cost-benefit analysis
What to do next:
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