IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are going to spend your vacation in Rome, Italy. Your friend's grandfather lives there and has offered to let you stay in his apartment. Write a letter to your friend's grandfather. In your letter: • Thank him for the offer but politely decline • Inform him of when you will be in Rome and your travel plans • Invite him for an outing

Dear Mr John, I hope you are doing well. Thank you for offering me a place to stay during my upcoming vacation in Rome. Since our mutual friend mentioned in the previous letter that you are looking forward to our visit. My parents are
also
Linking Words
 thanking you for
this
Linking Words
. Kindly accept my apology as my colleagues will be with me, so I think your home will be unappropriate accomodation for
such
Linking Words
 a large group. On 2nd March, we will
departure
Replace the word
depart
 from India in the evening. I will reach there on 4th March
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 there will be 4 hours stay between the flights. We have decided to stay in a hotel, which we have already booked in advance. We will hire a tour
guard
Use the right word
guide
show examples
 since we do not know much about the place.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would be grateful if you hang out with me in
you
Correct determiner usage
your
show examples
 free time at any cafe store. See you soon, Yours lovingly, Rupinder Kaur

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response: You answer all parts, but some ideas are not clear. Say clearly that you cannot stay in his flat and give one simple reason.
task response
For task response: Your tone is polite, but some words do not fit well. Use simple and natural lines like 'I am sorry, but I will stay in a hotel with my group.'
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end, but some sentences do not link well. Use easy link words like 'however', 'so', and 'because'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each part. One part for thanks and no, one part for travel plan, and one part for the invite.
task response
For task response: You thank him, say your travel plan, and invite him out. This shows you understand the task.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The letter is in paragraphs and has a greeting and ending. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: