It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

History

is an attractive subject and is compulsory at many levels of school. Some people find that it is more beneficial for students to get knowledge about their hometown's ancient stories than the world’s one. Personally, I support the idea that having thorough insights into what happened in the country where a child is born and grows up and develops his patriotism. On the one hand, it is true that local

history

provides a foundation for the youth to explore their origin and

also

helps them to promote a sense of patriotism.

For example

, many Vietnamese generations had suffered from numerous mental injuries and deaths during the wars against Western enemies and thousands of Vietnam soldiers sacrificed their

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

to protect the country’s independence and peace.

Therefore

, young generations must know about these victories in order to fully appreciate and be more responsible for saving the liberty and

tranquility

Change the spelling

tranquillity

show examples

of the nation.

Furthermore

, it is essential that the youth are considered to be the leaders of the future, so they should be taught about

nation's

Correct article usage

the nation's

show examples

history

to contribute

Change preposition

show examples

the nation's development.

On the other hand

, world

history

should not be ignored because it is

also

related to the local one and students should widen their understanding of the subject. Nowadays, more and more high school graduated dream of studying overseas due to globalization.

Hence

, those who do not have knowledge about world

history

may struggle to access international education. Studying about countries’ ancient stories

also

enhances children's horizons of the civilization and developments of humans. In conclusion, I hold a firm belief that local

history

is always a subject that every

school child

Correct your spelling

schoolchild

show examples

should be educated

first

because it brings many benefits and worthy tradition to children before they gain more lectures about other countries’

history

Submitted by Lisa on Tue Aug 17 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

heritage
cultural identity
ancestry
traditions
globalization
empathy
contemporary issues
integrate
perspective
civilization
diversity
innovations
historical significance
nationalism
cosmopolitanism
historiography
geopolitical

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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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