Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

#people #happiness #money #factors

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It is argued that the term

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apply

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happiness

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differently

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different

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with

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for

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individuals. One of the most important

factor

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factors

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happiness

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Remove the article

apply

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money

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. Everything is motivated by

money

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that is

Linking Words

really

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a really

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simple key but essential

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factors

Fix the agreement mistake

factor

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. I

am completely agree

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completely agree

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with that, we are

undeniably

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undeniable

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Correct pronoun usage

apply

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don’t have enough

money

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, we can not buy

the

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apply

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fundamental items.

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This

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In this

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essay I will focus on the discussion about

money

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is the most important condition to get easily cheerfulness.

Firstly

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money

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can buy other fundamental

factors

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including foods, accommodations, clothes, and medications. There affected

with

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human quality

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life

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of life

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?There are the most

principle

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principal

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factors

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that are desired by humans.

However

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, when people get completely about fundamental

factors

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they will get

happiness

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soon. It is a natural

life

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of humans.

Therefore

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poor

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a poor

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person that can not reach some

essentially

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essential

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factors

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may be less

happier

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happy

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than

rich

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a rich

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person.

Moreover

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, basic satisfactions depend on people can reach the fundamental

factors

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Secondly

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, financial

stability

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is equally

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stability

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stable

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in their

life

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. Successful of their occupation and business is a

second

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step to

get

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getting

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easily

happiness

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. More

money

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can

response

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respond

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their

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to their

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needs or luxury goods that include vehicles, luxury foods and brand name goods.

Consequently

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, financial

stability

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is important to get easier

stability

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life

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and sustainable

happiness

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Thirdly

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money

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is not only make

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is not only made

is not only making

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happier with you

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apply

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but only make

happiness

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with

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

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around with you. Most people spend

money

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with

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

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to take a little opportunity with someone.

For instance

Linking Words

, donate for

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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orphans or animals.

In addition

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

happiness

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are

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show examples

occurred by indirectly ways from others. In conclusion,

happiness

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is around with as well as

money

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is only one of

part

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the part

a part

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that can get easier

happiness

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Money

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can help we

are have

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have

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higher

Add an article

a higher

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quality of

life

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, get

Correct article usage

a more

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convenient

life

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and receives indirectly

happiness

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from others.

Submitted by ploypanut on Tue Aug 17 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

299 words

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Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people have more jobs at the same time, so they dont have enough time for their family. To what extend do you agree this ?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today`s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single-sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single-sex school have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?