Some people think that it is difficult for poor people or people from rural areas to go to university. So that the universities should make it especially easy for them. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people call for easier access to universities for
students
with a humble background. While it may give more chances for certain kinds of pupils, I personally reckon that
this
policy
will have serious negative impacts on both society and individuals.
First
of all, special treatments for disadvantaged
students
in college admission can undermine social justice since it is hard to give a clear demarcation of family status and the extent of reduction in requirements.
This
fuzzy boundary not only adds troubles in enrollment decisions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
provides some opportunistic people with
initiative
Correct article usage
the initiative
show examples
to take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
of the
policy
for their own interests. These well-off families may pretend to be poor or find ways to change their domicile address to rural areas, in order to increase possibilities of being admitted,
thus
making the
policy
bring no actual benefit to the real helpless children and
further
increasing the gap between rich and poor. Meanwhile, some hard work candidates from cities may be rejected compared with appliers from
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
even though they have better performance in high school, which can only stir up social controversy and disturb the equality in
such
a widely-concerned social issue.
Furthermore
, for the individuals’ sake, the simpler entrance to tertiary education will restrict personal development, in terms of knowledge acquisition and self-confidence. The
students
with less knowledge base will find it hard to keep pace with the teaching progress in universities that are designed for the majority of undergraduates that have
adequate
Add an article
an adequate
show examples
learning experience in the past, supporting them with more effective techniques and capability to study. These incompetent
students
will
also
meet obstacles to cooperate with other
students
,
for example
, when finishing group assignments, leading to less social contact with others
as a result
.
Such
looser
Correct article usage
a looser
show examples
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
with classmates and the lower scores in courses unconsciously blow to their confidence in personal abilities, exerting a long-term and irreversible influence on their future life, which is much worse than
lower-level
Add an article
a lower-level
show examples
college education.
On the other hand
, the
students
indeed were formerly held back by their family condition can gain a chance to change their destinies and social classes, since
this
protective
policy
giving them
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
academic atmosphere and resources to
display
Change the verb form
displaying
show examples
their talent to the full. Those with great curiosity in learning and perseverance have
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
potential to catch up
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
peers in their universities’ lives, for the simple reason that they are previously limited by the hard access to efficient learning
such
as a lack of latest books and advanced equipment, rather than their own abilities or intelligence. In these cases, the caring consideration in admission can
also
be regarded as
measures
Fix the agreement mistake
measure
show examples
to improve social mobility to some extent. In conclusion, the drawbacks of making
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
easy access to higher education for disadvantaged
students
outweigh its benefits to just a limited number of pupils.
Submitted by fanganqi79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • barriers
  • limited access
  • financial constraints
  • equality and diversity
  • comprehensive approaches
  • scholarships
  • mentorship programs
  • academic support
  • root causes
  • maintaining academic standards
  • fairness
  • merit-based
  • inclusive higher education system
  • social and economic benefits
  • dynamism
  • innovation
  • tailored support
  • admission criteria
  • inclusive approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: