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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #choices
Some
people
 argue that in today's world we have a number of
choices
 to do anything
that is
 convenient to us. In
this
 essay
Add a comma
,
show examples
I somewhat agree with
this
 statement.
Also
, I will explain why.
Firstly
, in today's
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
people
 are well educated. They have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to choose anything that they want to do.
People
 have different interests according to their
choices
.
Moreover
, in many foreign countries, where
people
 are well educated and understand each other
also
 they do not have any difference between men and women. They have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to start any job
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their own risk and invest their money wherever they want.
Furthermore
, some countries
such
 as New Zealand, Canada and Australia are well developed. They are helping their nation by providing financial support.
Thus
 masses can complete their dream projects.
Besides
, science has helped
people
 in many ways by providing internet facilities, Facebook, Twitter and web services. It increases
choices
Correct article usage
the choices
show examples
 and interest of
people
 to do something while they are at home. Individuals do not need to go
one
Change preposition
from one
show examples
 place to other. So,they get multifarious opportunities to choose
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
On the other hand
, some
people
 do not have numerous
choices
. They have limited freedom. Limited knowledge and limited facilities in their lives.For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
, in India some of the places,
people
 are not much educated nor have sufficient money to spend.
Also
, they are not getting enough support to do what they want.
Therefore
, some masses do not allow women to start their own jobs. According to them, women do not need to study and get a job. To conclude, I would suggest that
Replace the word
certain
show examples
certainly
Add a comma
,certainly
show examples
people
 have
choices
 to do what they are interested in.
Also
, opportunity and support from family, friends and government
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very important.
Submitted by rupindervirknz on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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